Our definition of success vs reality

I was chatting to a friend the other day about his plans and his future and I was astounded at how much he beat himself up.  He is only 23 years old and believes that he is failing in life because he has not made a success yet.  His definition of success was that his future had to be defined, work had to be secure and financially secure in the sense that he had “made it”.

It got me thinking just how many people define success on these principles and when they don’t attain them quickly enough, how they start on the “self-beating” rampage.  I myself have been known to do this and often have to stop myself in the royal tracks.

Success in reality is what we define it to be, meaning that it could be anything from doing something that causes us great fear, accomplishing goals through to simple tasks of getting your garden sorted out.  What we do forget though is that the foundation’s, or building blocks, have to be put into place first.  You can not expect to leave school or college and jump immediately into that dream executive job.  If you jump straight into it you’ll ten to one fail.

We can’t expect to run before we can walk, we have to learn to sit, to crawl and then stumble a few times before we can walk without holding on to anything, then only can we learn to run.

Sometimes we need to step back and take a wider look at the things we see as failures, take perspective and realise that they are the learning blocks towards the successes we desire so much. So often we set such high goals for ourselves that we forget the “here and now”, we forget to live for now and enjoy it, we get so caught up in our failures that we forget our successes however small they are…

Life is all about learning and enjoying the experience while you do, when toddlers fall over when they’re trying to walk, they get right back up and try again with the biggest smile on their faces…

We need to be more like toddlers and remember that if we learnt to walk we can learn anything

… another ramble by a learning soul…

4 thoughts on “Our definition of success vs reality

  1. Tell him that success changes depending on your age! When you are young, success has to do with money. As you age it has to do with family and money… and when you are old, it simply is about having lived a full and worthwhile life.

  2. I think it is not really to do with age, yes sure when you are young you have had less failure to deal with so it might be easier to get up and carry on – harder when you’re older because perhaps you have failed before. Ultimately every victory when done with a good heart is sweet. Failure is but a lesson for the heart, mind and soul – when you do not learn from your mistakes, that is a totally different topic…

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