Masonry Queen becomes Patient Gardener

I am the definition of contradiction, I am the Queen Mason and Patient Gardener, I am both and all at the same time.

From the age of naught, since the time I was but a spec on the imagination of my mother and possibly my fathers mind’s, I have been the Gardener in the people I meet’s lives. A wilting flower? No sweat I will water that sagging flower within you until it blooms once more in all its wonderful colour and array. That is who I am, that is how I have always been, that is how I will always be.

All the while I water your spiritual garden I neglect mine, instead of doing the required regular weed pulling, planting and watering I build walls. Walls around my spirit, my soul, who I really am, I hide. I am the expert in where these walls go, how they are built, how high they should go and what bricks to use. I am the Queen of Masonry.

I understand that in order for me to water your garden I have to do at least a bit of tending to my own, but not to the levels I should have. After all How much water can be thrown over a high wall? How easy is it planting a gorgeous orchid when you are balancing on the top of a wall the height of a skyscraper? Not easy, no. Perhaps my strength in tending to other peoples spiritual gardens is so strong for the fact that I have never really concentrated on my own. My gardening skills are unbalanced if you will.

When you are in a relationship, be it with a partner or with a friend, there are always three gardens to attend to much like the picture below – yours, mine and ours.



Firstly, on the left is your garden that you yourself need to tend to, look after, water, plant and weed.

Then on the right is your partners or friends garden, they to have to water, plant and weed making sure that it survives and grows.

Then finally we get the garden in the middle, our garden, this to needs to be watered, weeded and new plants planted every now and then.

If one of these three gardens is not being attended to then it becomes unbalanced, in discord and will start to resemble something much like a dead ant sucked dry by a leech, it can happen so fast, with a blink an eye, poof all dried out.

Look after your own garden too much and the other two get neglected, enough neglect and they slowly wither and die. The same is true when it comes to looking after the other two gardens more than your own, just this time yours is the one that withers.

All three gardens can be healthy and thriving, the balance perfect in the sense that all gardens are being weeded, watered and encouraged to grow but this takes hard work and practice. Just like anything else, like any garden, you can’t just put a garden together and expect it to grow. No, unfortunately you need to know which kind of plants work best under the different weather conditions, which plants need shade and which prefer full sunlight, how much to water them and what to plant next to them. Then on top of that “knowledge” you also need to think about the colours, sizes and fragrances of the plants you’re putting in your garden, do they compliment each other? Do they work well on the “whole”? and finally do they compliment the middle garden and in turn the third garden?

Now if you are a good mason such as I am, your garden will be filled with walls ranging from little hurdles through to impressive skyscrapers. How do you know where to plant the plants in your garden when you need to travel through an intricate maze first? Never mind knowing where to plant, how do you know what to plant because the sunlight falls differently depending on the day, month and season. The best yet is, how do you know what has already been planted if you can’t see over the walls in the first place?

With all that in mind how can we ever expect to know if someone else’s garden compliments ours if we don’t know what we have to begin with.

We are all masons in our own right, some of us are better with more experience, we all build walls. It is what we do with those walls that matters. Do we leave them up as permanent fixtures or do we instead break them down and use the remaining bricks in a water feature or paving the path in between the flower beds…. What we do is up to us.

I never knew what was in my garden, I was always busy watering others more than my own, the walls sky high, the sunlight very rarely filtered in. Ultimately, no matter what I did, I would never find the perfect partner or the friend that complimented my personality, my nature or my plants.

I still have many many walls to break down, 29 years worth of walls, all of them different sizes, densities and heights. I am retiring as the pro-mason now, I am handing in my wall making tools.

I am now a full time gardener, how about you?

11 thoughts on “Masonry Queen becomes Patient Gardener

  1. Whilst the idea of being a full-time gardener is appealing, I worry about the back-ache I might get. But yes, gardening is much more fun than hard landscaping 😉
    We also need our Floydian Moment “Tear Down The Walls”! I find a bit of destruction is terribly therapeutic.

  2. Wow. Absolutely fantastic post! Yeah, we who water other people’s gardens are very good masons indeed. Lovely imagery. I myself am still working on my walls. Some of my therapist friends tell me my disease came from not watering my own garden enough (to stick with your metaphor). Now I am forced to accept water from everyone! Congrats on handing in the masonry.

  3. @mmo may the walls fall and the trees grow 😉

    Psych I like the way you put it although sad. Sad that we sometimes need to be brought to our knees in order to water our gardens. I was once told similar although for a totally different set of circumstances.

    My walls are still in the thousands, it will take a long time to break them down but they are starting to fall and I am going to try my hardest to stop more from being put up… isn’t life strange.

    Our lives are pandoras boxes

  4. I will have to get better at taking care of my own garden. I always seem to be to busy taking care of everyone else’s. I’m reallly trying to change that. I NEED to change that.

  5. tbh I’ve been absolutely useless at it myself, takes time and patience to check out the plants and see what needs replanting, extra water and fertilizer (ok that is taking it a bit far we have enough shit in our lives yes). Laughter is the best water our plants can get, one step at a time k…

    PS You must remind Sue to send me that photo of you 🙂

  6. Beautiful post my friend. You did justice to the vision we spoke about. I love how you wove in the three gardens. How true.

    A word of caution, like the foundations to the walls you have been will be strong, your garden soil (your soul) is its foundation and needs to be made strong and well nourished so that flowers may grow and thrive. Poor soil, poor garden, no matter how much tending you give.

  7. Another beautiful and inspiring post SanityFound. I can’t believe you haven’t sent some of these to Redbook or Oprah or something! Perhaps it has something to do with your fear of tending to your garden or something. “No sweat I will water that sagging flower within you until it blooms once more in all its wonderful colour and array.” So true – I’m living proof! Thanks for being dear friend. Do know that I’ll help keep your garden tended until you get up the streanth plant your own flowers. I can’t wait to see you blossom fully – but then again i don’t know – you might become too seriarse. PLL, CordieB.

  8. Amber, very true, without the soil nothing will really grow and a healthy soil has a lot of oxygen in… I hope that the soil in my garden is rich in nutrients, I pray that it is.

    Cordie I think you are perhaps right, I will never send my stuff to them perhaps because of the state of my garden or perhaps it is my fear of failure, either way I wont do it.

    Thank you both so much for your kind words and thank you for watering so many of my flowers even when you may not have realised you kept me going.

    Cordie I will neffa effa become too seriarse have no fear my friend, have no fear, this is after all me we are talkin about – I have permanent infection of the bulshiticus virus…!

  9. hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm ..>Gardner….I justtt lovvved this post *bows*…I just admire the concept of the three gardens….! Bet even you have been in all the wrong professions all your life…Gardner is just so apt for you…!

  10. this is a beautiful post and concept. the rest has been said. thank you! Not smoking seems to be inspiring you even more, letting your garden thrive, so to speak – overflowing to reach others as well.

Your thoughts?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s