I love that Pig!

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it.)

If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that’s more like it!)

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet. (OMG gross)

A pig’s orgasm lasts 30 minutes. (In my next life, I want to be a pig.)

A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.) …… (I’m still not over the pig.)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories a hour (Don’t try this at home, maybe at work)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male’s head off. (Honey, I’m home. What the…?!)

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It’s like a human jumping the length of a football field. (30 minutes..lucky pig! Can you imagine?)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds. (What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)

Some lions mate over 50 times a day. (I still want to be a pig in my next life…quality over quantity)

Butterflies taste with their feet. (Something I always wanted to know.)

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Hmmmmmm……)

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people. (If you’re ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)

Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump. (Okay, so that would be a good thing)

A cat’s urine glows under a black light. (I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)

An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain. (I know some people like that)

Starfish have no brains (I know some people like that too.)

Polar bears are left-handed. (If they switch, they’ll live a lot longer)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (What about that pig??)

(I just love that pig….!)

18 thoughts on “I love that Pig!

  1. Vishesh we do not talk about the thing we can not talk about they are secret…

    Joy lucky indoods sheesh hmm unless I have just been living on a different planet, in that case I need to organise big time!

  2. Oh, please. This is just what I needed. I’m sending the fart one to my friends who are inconsolable over the death of their daughter.

    Bromides ain’t workin, so maybe gas facts will.

    Thanks!

  3. Sanity! I sent these broken hearted people the fart thing and they both emailed back in five minutes thanking me! You are gold, sister. These people have had everyone in the friggin’ world trying to cheer them up.

    I’m sending the pig thing tomorrow morning. Every day a new one. Pass on any that you find.

  4. Laughter is always the best medicine, my heart really does go out to them, sads. Live for today, who knows what tomorrow will bring – that is my motto for the day!

  5. Brilliant! You know you have just made my day, knowing that I have brightened at least a few peoples days turns me into a true Cheshire cat! I’ll add you to the joke subscription list?

  6. Winston continues to thrive. The mulberries have been in season and there are a couple of them that drop their berries in her outdoor pen. We have gotten into a routine of taking her for a walk most nights without a leash. She will trot along side of us until we get to a mulberry tree…then she lags behind snarfing up berries while my wife and I countinue walking. After we are out of sight she stops eating and races to catch up….it is hilarious. I think I mentioned she has her own facebook page…currently has 18 friends but wants to get 10,000….I think she has plans to have a Winston the pig calendar printed to help offset the cost of her keep next Winter. If you or any of your friends would like to be her “friend” she’s listed under Winston Randolph

  7. If that is the case, I’ll avoid being reborn as a male praying mantis at all cost in the next life…you traumatized me!

    I don’t know from which doctor you got my prescription from but I think I’m getting an overdose here – shouldn’t I be only getting 2 pints of laughter daily??? Nurse! I need help here!

    …you’re contagious…what else that is worst than living my life with a bright sunshine and gorgeous friends like you lots???

  8. You are definitely not a “Human” and Oh SO Most definitely not a dolphin as well….and you definitely do things for pleasure…hmmmm so what does that make you πŸ˜›

  9. Glaize I’m with you sista! That that poor Mantis! Hmm perhaps he was just a bad aerosol in his previous life? You are too funny, doctors prescription oh man now my tummy hurts from laughing tooo hard! Sheesh woman! May we spread the disease that is laughter!

    Deeps dahlink please tell me you are calling me a pig, please please please … kinda strange that a pig is related to a donkey yes? No wonder you ran away on gt scardy cat!

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