21 Ways to maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The intercom. Don’t Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, a sk If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it “In”.

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks . Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write ” For Smuggling Diamonds”.

7. Finish All Your sentences with “In Accordance With The Prophecy”.

8. Don’t use any punctuation.

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is “To Go”.

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don’t Rhyme?

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can’t Attend Their Party Because You’re Not In The Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream “I Won! I Won!”

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling “Run For Your Lives! They’re Loose!”

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, “Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.”

20. Go to the fitting rooms with a packet of condoms and say you would like to fit it.

21. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity …..

Its Called … therapy.

15 thoughts on “21 Ways to maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity

  1. You really brighten up my day. These are great – right up my alley! Hope I can remember them and use them at the right time. The song before (Kiss Me), and knowing you have some sunshine there has lightened my heart – even though it’s been pouring here all day. Have a good one!

  2. I did something similar to No.10

    Instead of food I asked for 3 glasses of water, serious face on. The waitress looked at me in disbelief. So she picked up the order and a few seconds later, came back to our table and asked if I really ordered 3 glasses of water.
    And I don’t know why she didn’t just deliver those glasses at the same time!

    I had to remind her again when she brought the next one in and I asked for another πŸ˜€ annoying huh?

    Well, that’s me when I’m feeling goofy – heck, she was laughing whenever she came to our table!

    But THIS was a good laugh!!!

    1. I asked for a diet water with a lemon without seeds… LOL. My friend didn’t catch it until he ordered it and the waitress’s face was beet red.

  3. Oh, I can always, always count on you! I’ve read to # 5 and I’m feeling better. Posting a few to my inconsolable friends right after this. Thank you, thank you, sanity girl.

  4. I LOVE number 3!! LOL!! Where do you come up with these?? I’ve learned to come here AFTER I’ve had my morning caffeine!! Otherwise it’s to messy on the monitor!!

  5. Martha lol glad you enjoyed that song and the little bits of insanity dare you to do it… go on dare you!!! Hope the Patti Smith concert was good you lucky cow!

    Glaize we are so similar it is scary except mine was more of a blonde moment. Friends and I were walking around Morrisons in Manchester getting supplies for a night out at a friend. Got the whisky now for the soda, we find the soda and my friend turns to me and asks “Diet or normal soda?” – yers can you imagine my response… “You get diet soda water??? wow” I say no more, you can’t take me anywhere and yes I was being dead seriarse!

    Hayden lol has your husband gotten over Josh Groban yet???

    w1kkp Glad you enjoyed these, hope your friends do to!

    Joy there are more coming so don’t go changing that routine unless someone is going to take a photo for me…! Think that would just be classic!

    Amber ROFLMAO @ Insane South A_ Freak_ an Now that is a wikkid word that I will have to, just have to, use in the book! Out of all the things I miss, I miss my mind the most…! Great now I have the Pixies in my head singing “where is my mind”

    SpiritFREE1 Glad you enjoyed, I just love laughing don’t you!

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