Truth about Cats and Dogs

A dog’s diary
7 am – Oh boy! A walk! My favourite!
10 am – Oh boy! Dog food! My favourite!
2 pm – Oh boy! A car ride! My favourite!
3 pm – Oh boy! The kids! My favourite!
4 pm – Oh boy! Playing ball! My favourite!
6 pm – Oh boy! Welcome home Mom! My favourite!
7 pm – Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favourite!
8 pm – Oh boy! Dog food! My favourite!
9 pm – Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favourite!
11 pm – Oh boy! Sleeping in my people’s bed! My favourite!

A cat’s diary

Day 183 of my captivity. My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape,and the mild satisfaction I get from clawing the furniture.

Today my attempt to kill my Captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded -must try this at the top of the stairs.

In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favourite chair – must try this on their bed.

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches.  The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return.  He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait; it is only a matter of time.

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11 thoughts on “Truth about Cats and Dogs

  1. My, oh my! Psst! ISF, between you and me, I think cats are government spies…they want to know where we hid the cookies and your wines…they’ll observe Amber so they can get a warrant for her secret cookie recipe…

    Shhh…we must keep this a secret. *Looks at dog* Good doggie, yes you! Come ‘ere and give me a hug. Woof!

  2. My darling little kitten would never think these things about me! Hmmpp….LOL! The top of the stairs you say?? I’ll have to be aware of this!

    This is great. Actually, I’m not sure if my cat thinks we’re cats or if she thinks she’s human. Regardless, she acts like a dog. Maybe she thinks she’s s dog. But I think our dogs think they are our kids!! I think my pets have identity issues!! Who needs the shrink, them or me?!?!?!?!?

  3. Joy – OMG I have heard about this human cat please send photos!!! Our dog believes himself to be a cat, he just tried to jump into a tree to catch a bird… do you get pet shrinks???

    Hayden your cats sound like mind kind of cats – true personalities with serious wild streaks!

  4. Our cats are all very much like humans, but I believe spend most of their lives laughing their arses off at us…….and the dog, almost anything pleases her, if it has to go with outside, food, or “mommy’s home!”….. PRECIOUS….

  5. Oh no, I can never beat you, ISF – you always have something hidden! See, even sister Joy is watching her shadows from you ~ and the wine, can’t recall the voice who told me but…it is not far 😀

    I’m sticking to my theory of cats being government spies. My cat manages to get himself into the house although I have secured the windows with super bubblegums…

    I’m Asian so we used to rear chickens. Not anymore cause they keep disappearing from their little house and my cat keeps getting fatter!

  6. Vanessa your animals are truly blessed to have you three in their lives the only thing I see them laughing about is your hair in the mornink! lol

    Joy hun *innocent look* I can be trusted promise 🙂

    Glaize I might agree with you they def smack of government spies, it would make so much sense! ROFLMAO super bubblegums huh??? tf

  7. I think my cat Zelda is too smart to be part of the CIA; however, at 18 she is now retired from her paramilitary career, though she gets a good swipe at her mom now and again for old time’s sake.

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