F/H: 10 Words That Don’t Exist, But Should


1. AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks’trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub tap on and off with your toes.

2. CARPERPETUATION (kar’pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.

3. DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt’) v. To sterilize the piece of confection (lollipop) you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, assuming this will somehow ‘remove’ all the germs.

4. ELBONICS (el bon’iks) n. The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater.

5. FRUST (frust) n. The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.

6. LACTOMANGULATION (lak’ to man gyu lay’ shun) n. Manhandling the “open here” spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the ‘illegal’ side.

7. PEPPIER (peph ee ay’) n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want fresh ground pepper.

8. PHONESIA (fo nee’ zhuh) n. The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.

9. PUPKUS (pup’kus) n. The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its nose to it.

10. TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay’ shun) n. The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you’re only six inches away

9 thoughts on “F/H: 10 Words That Don’t Exist, But Should

  1. Don’t exist?? You just said them, and they were understandable. Hence they exist. I mean, come on, really. What is the definition of an existing word? If it can be said and understood, it’s an existing word. Period.

  2. Martha LMAO indeed so did I so did I!

    TDYK I vote that Websters put them in the dictionary pronto. These words are being added to my everyday vocab just need to stand in front of the mirror and practice pronouncing them… I already have difficulty with Hospital so we shall see huh..

  3. Glaize it happens to me as well don’t you worry – just between you and me I can’t stand the phone and more often than not avoid answering it… you never know it could be the boogie man see!

  4. Are Webster an authority on the English language? Do they fee you if you mispronounce? Do they revoke your license to talk if you do grammar errors?
    The language belongs to the PEOPLE and not to any authority. The duty of language “authorities” is to DESCRIBE the existing language. Not to DECIDE them.

    The language belongs to YOU. Start using them, and if they are efficient words, they’ll catch on, and eventually may even make it to the Written Language (which is not the same as the spoken) and to Websters. Websters will not add words that don’t exist. First YOU must MAKE them exist.

    That’s how languages work and that’s the way they’ve always worked. That’s what makes us human beings.

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