The BS Artist aka IT Professional

Called up the “IT Specialists” on Wednesday to investigate mother’s laptop for espionage (there is no other word for it).  Since it was ripped from her hands, thrown on the desk (she pushed into bookshelf etc) the poor thing hasn’t been right since not to mention the fact that the “other” fiddled while they waited for mine to “arrive”. Ask no questions hear no lies.

I tracked these guys down and they seriously seemed to know what they were doing, they seemed professional, well recommended and were 24 hour service which is what I needed.  I needed to get the report by today in order to take it to the lawyers.  Friday is the operative word. When I called them up I told them that I was IT qualified but couldn’t touch the computer due to the case, I used the word urgent so many times that it sounded like a stuck record.

IT boy pitches and I give him the run down of exactly what I needed, what reports I required and why.  Again I told him that it was urgent.  He then spent half an hour talking about how he was a boy scout, he’s good on his word and that he would get it to us by latest the 12 the following day (Thursday). All looked rosy and so I bid him farewell after an hour.

12 Thursday arrived and no IT boy… hmm… so I called him up at 1pm slightly irked by the fact that he hadn’t contacted me to let me know that he would be late and by the fact that he was LATE.

Me:  Um is everything ok, you said you would be here by twelve and no ring at my doorbell???”

IT Boy: Sorry am just finishing up the Windows restore and looking at the Security settings, I will be finished soon and will drop it off this afternoon.

Great we were getting the laptop back in time, we could read the reports and prepare our case further.

5pm arrived and still no IT Boy

Mother: Helloooo I don’t know if I am wrong in thinking this but its 5pm and still no laptop, is everything ok?

IT Boy: I hit a problem doing the restore am working on it now, will definitely drop it off first thing in the morning.

Mother: Great because I really need the laptop to work on and I need the reports for the lawyer in the afternoon.

IT Boy: No worries mam I will get it to you first thing, boy scouts honour!

Friday morning arrived and no IT Boy hmm ok we are getting used to this now so we left it for a while.  Eventually at 12pm I couldn’t take it anymore, my temperature was rising and this guy was seriously pulling my royal goat.  I called him up.

Me: Right, you said Thursday morning, nothing.  You said Thursday afternoon, nothing. You said Friday morning, nothing. What the hell is going on with that laptop and is it still functional?

IT Boy: Yes yes all is fine, just doing the windows restore and security settings and I will be there between 1 and 2pm, almost finished.

So we continued with everything else, sorting out the finer details and then the wait began yet again… 2pm past and eventually at 2.30 I decided to give the guy a call.

Me: What’s wrong with the laptop? Did the HDD fail? Has Windows crashed? What on earth is going on with the laptop???

IT Boy: No no all is fine just busy with the windows restore and checking on or two things including anti-virus.  Have to check all the files.

Me: Great stuff, progress. As I said to you on Wednesday when you promised to get it back to me by Thursday morning this is VERY urgent and the reports are ESSENTIAL.  By you keeping the laptop for as long as you are you are taking two lively hoods away, affecting two peoples incomes to put bread on the table.

IT Boy: I will be there this afternoon I promise, sooooo sorry sorry sorry.

Do you think he arrived in the afternoon?

Nope you got it, 5.30 and the doorbell rang.  In between that call and him arriving he sent me an MMS with a photo of the laptops screen. Guess what was on the screen? Yip you got it… wait for it… Windows  Restore.

He sat down, brought me chocolate cupcakes (do I have bribe me on my forehead… hmm they were nice though) and then he went on to tell us how a computer is made up of files, how each file is written and made up of binary.  He gave a whole lecture on everything BUT what the hell had gone on with the laptop.  Guess what he did when he sat down? Yip you got it he ran windows restore and did the security changes while I sat and watched.

He did stuff and said it was other, he kept on about the boy scout BS, telling us all about how if you are in the profession you know the “tips” and the stuff that no one else talks about.  Hearing that I just cracked, I actually had to bite down on my lip in case I laughed out loud.  Enough was enough, this guy had blatantly lied, forgotten what he had lied about and was doing the work that he had said he’d done already right before my very eyes.

I had told his company right up front that I was an IT qualified person in order to save myself the pain of being handled the way I had been.  I had thought that by being up front he would know what he was dealing with and would not BS me.  What planet this guy was on I do not know, in the end after me discussing the inner workings of the “secrets” with him he went on to tell me how one of his major personality faults was time management, how it just fled from him and he didn’t know what happened.  *shrug* least the guy was honest in the end, he even gave me a discount for giving him guidance on “time management” and how to deal with customers. 

3 days of nothing is what it has come down to, I still don’t have a report with regards to what took place on the laptop while she had it. I will finish off the investigation and keep IT professional in the loop so he can write the report I am yet to get.

What makes people think that the person they are talking to knows nothing even when they have stated otherwise?

It blows my mind and yes I kept the cupcakes

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