The downside to losing weight

imageYou know its fantabularse losing weight, seriously, I mean ALL my clothes fit   nicely now, loose even.  Ok so my butt wobbles just a little still and my killer thighs are still killerish like little plane kick starters BUT they are fading…

Alls fine and well with losing weight but it has serious repercussions.  Losing ones insulation and padding is not good. Nope, not good at all!  A while back I wrote about how when I walk into a room I absorb all the furniture into my internal gps of “points to avoid”.  I’m now in a new home and for some reason my internal gps is on the brink.  Now that combo with the lack of insulation and padding is just plain not good!

You see walls jump out at me as I walk past them, when I go through a doorway the blooming sides attack me hitting me on the hips and arms.  It’s dangerous to the extreme.  Tables also try to bite my knees and elbows, seriously they just do not like me!  What I ever did to any of them I don’t know, it’s not fair either way you look at it… Cruel even specially now that I got some bones showing.

Ok moving along swiftly, today (will save you gory details) I got the fright of my life… If you were to see me you would think that I had been given a serious beating. I am blue and the bruises are everywhere!!! Hmph it is times like today that I miss my padding, my insulation.

What is worse though is that I am back to wearing my Age 12-13 t-shirts (you get the point right) which is just disheartening, just when I was gaining a decent cleavage kapoof all gone.  Soon I will be mistaken for a boy again just you wait and see *sighs*

Note to God:

In my next life can I have cleavage and a better internal GPS, tis all I ask for pleeeeeease! Thank you *smiles*

Right now I am going to have a chocolate and really enjoy it, breakfast aaaaaah…. am wearing one of my beautiful new jackets given to me by two incredible humans (has insulation and needed padding making it possible to bounce softly off the above mentioned attackers)

10 thoughts on “The downside to losing weight

  1. Maybe you should start wearing football padding??? Those walls and tables are sneaky things….. best be careful!!!!

    So glad that you have some artificial insulation with your new jacket to keep you warm!!!

  2. Oh Audrey, my gps doesn’t work very well either. I get bruises that I don’t even remember or know how I got. They are usually on my rear end or hips. How is it that furniture can move and trip us or walk right into us???

    I’m glad though that you are getting adjusted. You’ll soon learn what walls and what furniture will be your enemy!!

    Glad your wearing one of the jackets to keep warm. Who would have known they’d be used as padding and not against the elements????

  3. Ddon’t forget another advantage of losing weight.

    If you die in a plane crash in the mountains the survivors will eat you last! 😉

    Cleavage is way over rated too. Keep it inside ladies only trailor park guys like it all hanging out! 🙂

  4. Audrey – I so sympathize about the cleavage thing. I’ve lost lots of weight recently too and I feel like soon I’ll be mistaken for a boy too 🙁
    And yes, there is something to be said about being warm and padded in winter… Guess we just have to buy ourselves some more sweaters, eh hun?

  5. hmmm we did talk about eating sometimes right? didn’t we? We did? Im sure we did. Feed children, feed you. Yes, I know I said that. Sheesh.

  6. Bruises make interesting decorations but unfortunately come only in a little range of colours so it’s not that worth it.
    Stay away from tables and walls until they have been used to your presence there.
    What else… Oh, please do keep a little layer of meat to cover your bones 🙂

  7. I know… just put padding on all offenders… that way when you walk around the house in your underwear… then yer all safe!!! 🙂 And, I, on the other hand, after putting on weight (which just doesn’t want to fall off), have, this year, for the first time in HISTORY, actually got some boobs! Wooohoooo!!!

  8. I know that feeling sis. Padding in the UK in winter is much needed. That was the ONLY reason why I drank so many beers. To create padding of course. At least you still have your teeth hey. No, about the cleavage… Hum, I mean… You know… Yes. (Thanks for the Zebra crossing message! A HUGE surprise!)

  9. Vanessa ROFLMAO Football padding??? Will that give me at least a bit of cleavage??? *grins big* dang gf seriously even wonderbra’s dont work!

    Joy lol who woulda known I tells you multi purpose life savers seriously! Now about these walls, I just had a long chat to the kitchen door frame and it promised to avoid me (used the knowing mugabe threat and MN and California… it got really really REALLY scared and shivered… oh no, sorry, that was me!)

    Mssc54 rofl ok so I shall avoid picking up guys in a Trailer park thens? whooohooo I will be last eaten *does partay dance* tf

    SI You know you are so right, I didnt even think of the most perfect excuse in the world and while I’m at it I shall get more pants am needing a few new ones anyways lol!

    Amber hmph I am eating I swear it, a bit like you see both unintentional right? *hands over a carrot stick* yummy AND crunchy ok beans

    Froggy you are too funny, meat huh we going flying and crashing together noooooo you eat up ol’ boy fatten you up so I be like Mssc54 said!

    Bojinx cowbag sheeeeesh *glares big time* meanie! You mean there is hope for me as wells??? Missing you tooz huns

    AA Dang now why don’t I drink beer huh huh??? Gonna have to acquire the taste though I am a wine and whiskey girl through and through… guess they don’t work huh hmph! Glad Zebra made it safe!

    Psych am not skinny skinny yet, I still have some insulation that wobbles on the thigh areas but my body takes a while to adjust no matter what country I go to, be it because of stress or just climate. I am setting reminders to eat thanks to California riding my ass and just had a christmas pudding for lunch 🙂

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