I choose Dead Horse, you?

I said I was going to do this a little while ago and while chatting to a friend last night I decided that it is time. We went through a few of the strange place names in America and then he dropped the big one… the French town of Tampon – yeah you heard right!

Ok breathe… phew…

America is so funny that there will have to be a few parts to this “Funny Town” post, perhaps a couple of states every day? Don’t know yet all I do know is that the American founders sure had a seriarse sense of humour!!!

Please note that I mean no offense to you if you do actually live in one or more of these towns I am just well, if you do you have to have a sense of humour…

Over in Alaska it must be pretty strange being asked “so where you from” and then having to reply “I live in Dead Horse”. Don’t know about you guys but aren’t the horses scared in that town? I personally wouldn’t be able to live with that threat over my head every day. What is more interesting is Nightmute, phew… ok so no loud ecstatic screams folks, it’s against the law here – thick walls?

Not so strangely when I googled Arizona’s city of Monkey’s Eyebrow all I found was Unibrows and the likes thereof. Now Nothing seems to be a place that would suit my needs though I must say I don’t like the idea of telling someone that I live in nothing. Why? No I mean is Why? It is the towns name and the question mark is just my big Q… do people their find that they ask a lot of questions??? Why? Holy moly I would go nuts.

One thing that must be said surely is that those living in the Colorado town of Hygiene must be really clean and healthy compared to those who are in Hasty. If all else fails at least I now know where I can get a Yellow Jacket! Yeah I know, relief! All of that said Colorado does seem like a nice State all round though I do feel sorry for those in Last Chance, can’t be nice living with the idea of that being the last place on earth. Not nice, no.

Colorado is mild compared to Florida, when I visit I just have to go visit Elfers, surely this is the home of Elves? Now my thinking is if there are Elves then there must be Fairies right? hmmm what is true though for Florida is the fact that they have Frostproof and most of their towns/cities are called after special days and food.

Do the people who live in Christmas visit Celebration for that special day? Sopchoppy reminds me of Soppy Chops which here in SA means an aerosol with feelings, I doubt there are many South Africans inhibiting your sweet town, you are safe from invasion. I found where Spuds originated!!! No seriarsely I did the dance and no I will not do it again! I am too busy oogling Two Eggs! See that sounded wrong Fried eggs? Is the standard serving at a fry up Two Eggs? Phew people in Florida must get hungry a lot with all these places cropping up.

There I was thinking that Enigma was a music group or rather a puzzling or inexplicable occurrence or situation, nopes its a place! They are very special there. Perhaps people from Experiment go there when things have gone well? I have always wondered which place in the world has the most Simpsons fans and finally, I have managed to find out, just so that you know, it is Homerville. I know its quite shocking and I am surprised it took me so long to find that town.

The people of Georgia are definitely on different juice, perhaps special juice. Contradictions in life are everywhere, imagine being born in Ideal and living in Quitman, hmmm… “I’m in Quitman, no it is not Ideal” *shrug*…

I would much rather live in Energy or Normal! I mean come on, wouldn’t you??? Talking about Energy, do they all run off solar panels or do they just bounce around? See why I have so many questions, perhaps I was born in that place Why.

Ok I have another question, perhaps someone can answer it for me. Are there any vegetarians living in Bacon? Does Buddha have a lot of Buddhists, do they all meditate as a natural way of being? What is it like to really live in French Lick? Hmm ok perhaps I should just go live in Solitude, they are very calm there.

All I know is that I can not tell the kids I know that I found Santa Claus, it would break their hearts the poor dear hearts. What I really want to know is, do the youths in Santa Claus spend their days looking for his house? I know this is quite worrying if you ask me.

The people in Iowa must be really happy (or not…) what with towns like What Cheer but whatever you do, do NOT piss them off, especially in the Beebeetown (Is this where BeeBee guns come from???). Now if you aren’t cheerful in What Cheer do you move to Sac City. Between you and me they must work really hard there considering… do that get sac’d often? fired? Here we call it sacking.

Now personally, and please don’t mention this to anyone, but I feel that perhaps the state of Kansas is inhibited by aliens? Ok, you tell me what you think. First, you have Gas, a place filled with aerosols or people with serious rear-ended burps? Then you get Moonlight, a place filled with people who moonlight or permanent full moons or better yet when they moon does light shine from their … ? Protection, do people who live there need more protection or do they feel by calling their town that there will be less crime, alien abductions, etc? Wait it gets better…

I think the people over in Skiddy need to move over to Protection, they must be quite scared – I wasn’t shocked to find that there are no maps to Skiddy, paranoia anyone? Forget all of that for a moment, Smileyberg anyone? I googled it but only found references to this town. I think perhaps they are scared of Skiddy people finding them and leaving their mark.
Speed though sounds interesting, they all must live a really fast-paced life compared to those in Zook (see why I think its an alien state? also no maps leading to them hmph).

Now, what do you think of Yoder? Is it wise or is it not, that is the question along with just how many people are called Luke?

Ever wondered how places were named in the state of Kentucky? Well the forefathers took a dictionary (not very big in those days) and opened it randomly, which ever word stood out that was the places name. Sorry, there are just so many and I can’t really leave any out they are that good! Hence now places sit with names like:

• Beauty (filled with beautiful or really ugly people that want to be beautiful???),
• Cranks (am scared to say anything just now they get mean on my ass),
• Combs (least they have pretty hair ok),
• Decoy (to distract you from the next town no doubt),
• Dukedom (think this one is self explanatory, must be an interesting
  place to live, kinda “low” profile),
• Dwarf (short state?),
• Hazard (ironic when you look at the picture on the right, I refuse to say that it must be quite a hazardarse place to live, definitely not a place I should visit, I may not make it out alive!)
• Hippo (oh dear, so are people from there called Hippo’s???)
• Krypton (may all time favourite apart from Yoder I think, begs the question why Superman never found this place *shrug*)
• Mummie (don’t be calling any one mummies boy here nor speak to
  graveyard staff… seriously don’t do it!
• Mud Lick (I am not joking theres your proof!!! eeeeeew unless they call chocolate mud there? Chocolate always calms me…)
• Oddville (hmmmm do I really need to say anything..? no didn’t think so…)
• Ordinary (how boring)
• Petroleum (was this where the jelly was invented???)
• Ready (aaaaah perhaps a town I can deal with rofl)
• Relief (people from Ready move here once they are tired of being ready?)

Yeah we like Kentucky, specially the chicken.

No, the British aren’t safe either… that’s coming soon as well…