A few slight misconceptions I am hoping that TV & Media have abolished… While travelling I was always asked the same questions about Africa, people thought of me as brave and courageous but I digress, the normal questions and my responses…
Question: Aren’t you scared of walking around, what if the lions get you?
My Answer: Not at all, if a lion were to come towards you or look like they’re going to attack just stare them in the eyes, if that doesn’t work we normally just whip out our bows & arrows then take him home to eat.
Question: Don’t the leopards scare you?
My Answer: No I actually have 5 of them as pets, my neighbour has 7… we use them for running practice on the landstrip right outside my house, sometimes they win the race, sometimes I do…
Question: Must be really strange walking around in animal skin…
My Answer: Oh no not at all! If you visit you’ll find we have quite a wide variety available… you’ll really like them I think though I must say that I much prefer animal skin soaked in diesel to levi… but then again we can’t always find that particular animal, they’re very rare and costs a fortune.
Question: Have you ever seen a Toyota?
My Answer: Hmmm that sounds like a cool toy, have you ever heard of a Lotus, Bugatti or Maserati?
Question: How did you get here?
My Answer: Well you know, it was a really long trip… first I travelled by foot, then picked up an elephant, then when the elephant was tired I used a contraption similar to Da Vinci’s flight machine, then when the winds died I caught a raft over the seas and magic kaboom here I am! I’m really exhausted though, it has taken me a whole 12 hours!!!
Question: Don’t you find it hard doing your washing in the river?
My Answer: Not at all, I do the whole communities – use a barrel, stand on top of it and practice my balance as the current takes me downstream then I hang up the washing on twigs in the trees while the elephant blows them dry.
Question: Can I post you something, do you actually get mail in Africa?
My Answer: Well if you are sending it from over the seas we will have to send someone to fetch it. See in Africa we have people that run across the country delivering letters written in charcoal with leaves as stamps, some days they are faster than others, all depends which pub they stop off at. We are hoping that this will change though, just before I left I heard a village announcement that they will now be using leopards and cheetahs to deliver the mail, very good news I can tell you!
Question: You must really enjoy our Coca Cola huh?
My Answer: To be honest our fruit juice is a lot better, less sugar, if I can’t have that then our Fanta is quite nice, less sweet than yours, would you like me to mail some to you?
Question: What’s the gold like in your area?
My Answer: Unfortunately my area is not very well populated with gold although I did find a 5 carat diamond while digging in my vegetable patch.
Enough said though in real life I have played with Cheetah’s, had a Giraffe eat from my hand, walked amongst zebra’s, been close to a Rhino, seen a lion and hopefully will soon play with lion cubs 😀
I simply love the sarcasm in your post.
Unfortunately a lot of people are still ignorant about various things. I used to be asked what is Romania…!!! when questioned where am I from…
Gabriela
PS. Romania is a country in Eastern Europe folks. That’s where Dracula comes from…woooh spooky
You’re kidding right so THAT’S where Dracula comes from??? Jokes you its really scary some of the questions we get but they can be funny all the same… so have you met him yet? 😀
that was damn good 🙂
lol thanks Vishesh… have been asked these questions so long they kind of formulated to what they are today 😀
Very witty and funny……. I feel better informed as well…..LOL!!! V.
😀 I type this while stroking my brother’s cat in a wooden house on stilts … kitty wishes she was a cheetah, perhaps one day she will grow bigger 😀
Well, thank you for this information! Your life in Africa sounds really interesting, and you are so BRAVE!!! And I’m cracking up laughing, which is a delightful change of pace. By the way, I really like your pictures! And please let me defend myself (I am blushing) – I also asked about the post, but was thinking more about reliability and dishonest mail deliverers. In some places it is more of a problem than others. Once, a long, long time ago, you used to be able to send money in an envelope. Imagine that!
Darrrnn You — Open up a cartooon channel..count me as a business partner taking care of the finances 😛
Martha lol you didn’t get that answer did you? Nah reality today is a different story it would indeed be safer sending it via cheetah or leopard. Our postal service is well known for sorting your mail out better than you could if you know what I mean!
Dost you are a nutter… think the worst was that some of the people asking believed… 🙁
Ha! Ha! Love your humour! 🙂
ROFL!! Bloody Brilliant! When I was in the UK all of the time I used to get… Are you American? I used to look straight back at them and say, No, Im chineses!
Then, I would get asked, My Aunt/Uncle/Cousin/neighbor lives in (name small town you never even heard of) Minesota.. Do you know them?
On the other hand, here are some dumb American Questions:
Do Europeans know what toilet paper is? I heard they still use newspaper.
Do you know the Queen and the Royal Family?
My favorite was… Do they have running water and indoor toilets there?
God, people are dim!
ROFL!!! Toilet paper lol no dahlink they use the Daily Sun! Excellent sheesh… doesn’t it just make you wonder… 😀
Thanks Spillay 😀
Hahaha! I love your humour, sarcasm always makes me chuckle & this had me lol’in all the way through.
Lol I have my moments! Glad you enjoyed, at one point I wrote a whole series and was going to do a book! 😀
Great article but I have some more questions…How did you find it growing up without electricity or running water? I imagine it must have been really hard to power your TV with just AA batteries.
Honestly, this is one of the funniest blog posts I’ve read in ages! Your humour is brilliant and so refreshing in a world of bloggers who take everything so seriously 🙂 Keep it coming!
No no not AA batteries, we actually powered them by using over active kids peddling a bicycle to generate enough “juice” whenever Survivor was on. We found that it worked way better than the monkeys with all their mischief! Always a win win – Kids sleep and we got Survivor 😀
As for running water… its called running for a reason, if the said kids were not tired we would get them a running for the water. Where did you think the term came from???
Thanks! Laughter is always the best medicine!
I love your humour so much 😂 One day we‘ll have to have a bow and arrow competition together though! I‘m so jealous about all the wild animals you can play with, in Switzerland we have only cows and St. Bernards I can play with 😢
Have a great day Audrey 😊
Bring it on! Though living in the States may have unsharpened my skills Africa still lives in my veins! Cows can be fun but not too fast a ride and their breath… phew. St Bernard’s on the other hand I’d swap a cheetah for!
Thanks, I have my moments normally induced by my slight cookie habit 🙂