• Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Twitter
  • Pinterest
 
Sanityfound
  • Home
  • About SF
  • Dictionary: SanityFound
  • Travel
    • Eco Tourism
      • Wildlife Parks & Sanctuaries
    • America
      • Arizona
      • Florida
      • California
        • Napa, California
        • San Fransisco, California
        • Santa Rosa
    • United Kingdom
      • England
  • Expat Files
  • Life
  • Ubuntu Story
  • Contact me

Sanityfound

  • Home
  • About SF
  • Dictionary: SanityFound
  • Travel
    • Eco Tourism
      • Wildlife Parks & Sanctuaries
    • America
      • Arizona
      • Florida
      • California
        • Napa, California
        • San Fransisco, California
        • Santa Rosa
    • United Kingdom
      • England
  • Expat Files
  • Life
  • Ubuntu Story
  • Contact me

In Fun/Humour

F/H: Husband Quotes

300 Views 4 Comments

F/H: Husband Quotes Pin It

1. I haven’t spoken to my wife for 18 months. I don’t like to interrupt her.

2. Marriage is a 3-ring circus: Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.

3. The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, “What’s on the TV?” I said, “Dust!”

4. In the beginning, God created earth and rested. Then God created man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man has rested.

5. Why do men die before their wives? They want to.

6. What is the difference between a dog and a fox? About 5 drinks.

7. A beggar walked up to a well dressed woman shopping on Grafton Street and said “I haven’t eaten anything in four days.” She looked at him and said, “God, I wish I had your willpower.”

8. Do you know the punishment for bigamy? Two mothers-in-law.

9. Young Son: “Is it true, Dad? I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn’t know his wife until he marries her.” Dad: “That happens in every country, son!”

10. A man inserted an ad in the classifieds: WIFE WANTED. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: YOU CAN HAVE MINE.

11. The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.

12. First guy (proudly): “My wife’s an angel!” Second guy: “You’re lucky, mine’s still alive.”

13. How do most men define marriage? An expensive way to get laundry done for free.

14. Just think, if it weren’t for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

15. If you want your wife to listen and pay undivided attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

16. Then there was a man who said, “I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late.”

17. A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?” And the father replied, “I don’t know son, I’m still paying!”

18. I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was “Always.”

Share this:

  • Click to email this to a friend (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Pocket (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window)

Like this:

Like Loading...
funfunnyhumourhusbandsjokelaughmarriageRelationshipswives
Share

4

You may also like

View Post

Friday Funnies ~ Dilbert One Liners

View Post

For Monty Python fans

View Post

F/H: What Religion is Your Bra?

View Post

It’s Great to be a Souf Efrikan

4 Comments

  1. donstuff
    •
    12 years ago

    Husband: We’ve had 10 good years together.
    Wife: We’ve been married 25 years.
    Husband: Your point?

    Loading...
    Reply
  2. novice101
    •
    12 years ago

    I like most of the jokes listed. They all have a grain of truth in each of them. Thanks.

    Loading...
    Reply
  3. SanityFound
    •
    12 years ago

    Donstuff you almost made me choke on my jelly tots tff!

    Novice spot on!

    Loading...
    Reply
  4. Joy
    •
    12 years ago

    Oh man, I’ve got good tears today. These are great. I loved them.

    Loading...
    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Previous Post

F/H: Q&A

In Life's opinion

F/H: Q&A

View Post

Next Post

Life in Music

In Life's opinion

Life in Music

View Post

About Sanityfound

Often known as a tad crazy I come from Cape Town, South Africa. Started travelling abroad at 16, lived in a number of countries, have gone to over 250 concerts & festivals and… Honestly I never feel more alive than when I am on an adventure, experiencing a new country or trying some wacky food!

Follow Me!

Looking for something?

Subscribe to Blog via Email

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 5,434 other subscribers

Latest Ramblings

In Humans

Covid-19 bringing Ubuntu back?

View Post

Humpty Dumpty

In Life's Lessons

The truth about being Humpty Dumpty

View Post

In Life

Kicking the Negative Stones of Life

View Post

In America

African in America: First Impressions

View Post

function WP_Widget::widget() must be overridden in a subclass.