Anesthesiologist’s business card: When you care enough to sleep with the very best.
Sign over a Gynecologist’s Office: Dr. Jones, at your cervix.
In a Podiatrist’s office: Time wounds all heels.
On a Septic Tank Truck: Yesterday’s Meals on Wheels
At a Proctologist’s door: To expedite your visit please back in.
On a Plumber’s truck: We repair what your husband fixed.
On another Plumber’s truck: Don’t sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.
On a Church’s Billboard: 7 days without God makes one weak.
At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee : Invite us to your next blowout.
At a Towing company: We don’t charge an arm and a leg. We want tows.
On an Electrician’s truck: Let us remove your shorts.
In a Non-Smoking Area: If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.
On a Maternity Room door: Push. Push. Push.
At an Optometrist’s Office: If you don’t see what you’re looking for, you’ve come to the right place.
On a Taxidermist’s window: We really know our stuff.
On a Fence: Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!
At a Car Dealership: The best way to get back on your feet? Miss a car payment.
Outside a Muffler Shop: No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.
In a Veterinarian’s waiting room: Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!
At the Electric Company : We would be delighted if you send in your payment. However, if you don’t, you will be.
In a Restaurant window: Don’t stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up.
At a Propane Filling Station: Thank Heaven for little grills.
In the front yard of a Funeral Home: Drive carefully. We’ll wait.