Little Tim was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked,

“Whatcha doing, Tim?”

“My goldfish died,” replied the boy tearfully, without looking up. “And I’ve just buried him.”

The neighbour was concerned. “That’s an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn’t it?”

Tim patted down the last heap of earth then replied, “That’s because he’s inside your cat.”

A blonde wanted to go ice fishing, so after getting all of the right tools, she headed toward the nearest frozen lake. After getting comfy on her stool she started to cut a circular hole in the ice.

Then from the heavens a voice boomed, ”THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE.”

Startled, the blonde moved further down the ice, poured a thermos of hot chocolate and started to cut yet another hole in the ice.

The voice boomed, ”THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE.”

This time quite scared, the blonde moved to the far end of the ice.

Then she started another hole and once again the voice said, ”THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE.”

The very scared blonde raised her head and said, ”Is that you, Lord?”

The voice answered, ”NO. IT IS THE MANAGER OF THE ICE RINK.”