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Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you’re pregnant.
Q: I’m two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.
Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby’s sex?
A: Childbirth.
Q: My childbirth instructor says it’s not pain I’ll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.
Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.
Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.
Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby’s diaper very quickly.
Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A: Not unless the word “alimony” means anything to you.
Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.
Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she’s borderline irrational.
A: So what’s your question?
holeycheese
•15 years ago
Well this is not perfectly true but… yes it is..=)
Joy
•15 years ago
Aaahhh….there are some really good ones here. I like the “when will they move one?”!! LOL!!!
SanityFound
•15 years ago
Glad you both enjoyed luckily no samples for me so this was just experimental of course… From all the tales I hear though – *hats off* don’t know if I could do it!
Lindsey
•15 years ago
I didn’t mind giving birth at all. Honestly. I didn’t even think it was that painful. Pregnancy, on the other hand… I’m not having any more babies, because I CANNOT stand the thought of being PREGNANT!
A broad
•15 years ago
Really good one…me thinks I could have done with some of this “wisdom” during my two pregnancies… [read: Weight just a minute…I am having a baby]…laughs all around!
ifoundme
•15 years ago
hahahahha! you never fail to amuse me, SF! i should let my pregnant friend read this so that she’ll stop complaining about pregnant. LOL!
SanityFound
•15 years ago
Lindsey yes this whole concept of 9 months and then the crescendo being ouch hmm I wonder. Probably the real truth is I fear the child being my stunt double.
A Broad I will have a read later, your sense of humour always gets me laughing out like nothing else… am surprised I don’t have a well defined six pack by now from all the laughs! Perhaps because of the cookies but lets not discuss them.
ifoundme lol the poor woman, I can only imagine how scary it must be!
glaize
•15 years ago
Oh my! Won’t be going in that direction anytime soon, maybe ages later. But this is quite true and funny at the same time 🙂
SanityFound
•15 years ago
*grins* me neither trust me!!!