WARNING: May be considered below the belt (excuse the pun) so you are warned if you can’t handle it don’t read…
1.) Man: “Haven’t we met before?”
Woman: “Yes, I’m the receptionist at the V.D. Clinic.”
3.) Man: “So, wanna go back to my place?”
Woman: “Well, I don’t know. Will two people fit under a rock?”
4.) Man: “I’d really like to get into your pants.”
Woman: “No thanks. There’s already one asshole in there.”
5.) The most memorable rebuttal to a turn down (used by the guy who
used to live across the hall from me in residence) when he asked a girl to
dance and she refused:
Man: “Want to Dance?”
Woman: “No, thank you.”
Man: “Don’t thank me, thank God somebody asked you.”
6.) Man: “I’d like to call you. What’s your number?”
Woman: “It’s in the phone book.”
Man: “But I don’t know your name.”
Woman: “That’s in the phone book too.”
7.) Man: “So what do you do for a living?”
Woman: “Female impersonator.”
8.) And here’s one including the correct snappy return
Man: “How do you like your eggs in the morning?”
Woman: “Unfertilized, screw off!”
9.) A girlfriend of mine once had a graying man in his 60’s approach
her in a club while she was in college with the line,”Where have you been
all my life?” She took one glance at him and said, “For the first half
of it, I probably wasn’t born yet.”
10.) A friend of mine came up with a very quick response over vacation.
We were walking down the street and I glanced at a girl who had just
walked by. She turned around and said to me, “What are you looking at?”
My friend, walking next to me came to the rescue, “He thought you were
good looking, but he was mistaken.”
11.) While at college, a few friends were discussing how their “passes”
had been rejected by the intended female receiver. One of the ladies
explained how she handled it once…
When the guy, obviously getting irritated, blurted out something like,
“Hey, come on, we’re both here at this bar for the same reason!”
She responded, “Yeah! Let’s pick up some chicks!” He immediately
blanched, and decided that maybe he would look someplace else.
12.) “Sorry, I don’t date outside my species.”
sandysays1
•12 years ago
Good stuff! I some cases so true. (8,9,12) Visit me at: http://www.SandySays1.wordpress.com
inwardsun
•12 years ago
My friend has a really fun/nasty game. When she is in a crowded bar, she chooses a victim, goes up to him facing his back, knocks him slightly on the shoulder and then when he turns and looks at her, she yells loudly to the others;
FALSE ALARM GIRLS!! False alarm.
And walks away.
Women are cruel. And we love it.
mssc54
•12 years ago
This isn’t exactly on the subject but it kinda fits.
When ever I hear people just cursing up a storm I often ask, “Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?”
I don’t usually get acceptable answers to that query. 🙂
Amber
•12 years ago
ROFL!! I love this one…. 😀
psychscribe
•12 years ago
Well…there was a time when I could have REALLY used these …now I remember …way in the ancient past…how great it was to need to use them!
Dating Tips for Guys
•12 years ago
Number 5 and 7 made me laugh. What? a female impersonator, that’s insane. LOL Nice post.
SanityFound
•12 years ago
sandysays1 – thanks hun, glad you enjoyed it – send me a mail if you want to know how to put your blog address in your name shown on comments
inwardsun – lol I have known a few of my friends to do that as well when we were all younger, the games huh lol
Mssc54 – I can only imagine what kind of responses you get rofl
Amber – glad you enjoyed huns
Psych – lol you should get hubby to throw a few of these in your direction and you can bat back with the responses lol hey could be fun! *grins*
Dating tips for guys – glad you enjoyed these, welcome to insanity!