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In Fun/Humour

Friday Funnies ~ Dilbert One Liners

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Friday Funnies ~ Dilbert One Liners Pin It

Here are some nice Dilbert’s one liners..

1. I say no to alcohol, it just doesn’t listen.

2. A friend in need is a pest indeed.

3. Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.

4. Work is fine if it doesn’t take too much of your time.

5. When everything comes in your way you’re in the wrong lane.

6. The light at the end of the tunnel may be an incoming train..

7. Born free, taxed to death.

8. Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don’t have film.

9. Life is unsure; always eat your dessert first.

10. Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.

11. If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you’ll have trouble putting on your pants.

12. It’s not hard to meet expenses, they are everywhere.

13. I love being a writer… what I can’t stand is theΒ  paperwork.

14. A printer consists of 3 main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.

15. The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was the genius.

16. The trouble with being punctual is that no one is there to appreciate it.

17. In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?

18. If you cannot change your mind, are you sure you have one?

19. Beat the 5 O’clock rush, leave work at noon!

20. If you can’t convince them, confuse them.

21. It’s not the fall that kills you. It’s the sudden stop at the end.

22. I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

23. Hot glass looks same as cold glass. – Cunino’s Law of Burnt Fingers

24. The cigarette does the smoking you are just the sucker.

25.Some day is not a day of the week

26. Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.

27. To Err is human, to forgive is not a Company policy.

28. The road to success…. is always under construction.

29. Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk.

30. In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don’t need it.

AND THE BEST ONE COMES LAST!

31. All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive, fattening or married to someone else.

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6 Comments

  1. holeycheese
    •
    12 years ago

    LOL! This is great πŸ™‚
    But Friday funnies? I think you missed a couple of days here.. πŸ˜‰ But you’re right. Weekend is the best!

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  2. SanityFound
    •
    12 years ago

    Yers I decided to pull friday towards Wednesday and surprise everyone lol – you know me I am insane *shrug* Glad you enjoyed!

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  3. bojinx
    •
    12 years ago

    very entertaining! πŸ™‚ I’d like to think today was friday… but that’d mean i’m working on saturday and sunday :(. I need my two days of rest!!!

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  4. nikki
    •
    12 years ago

    I love these!!! Especially #2!!! A friend in need is a pest indeed!! All are great though!!! Great way to start the day off:)

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  5. vishesh
    •
    12 years ago

    lol πŸ˜› where do find these stuff? don’t tell me,i like to read them in your blog,they seem to have a person touch πŸ˜›

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  6. Joy
    •
    12 years ago

    These are all great. I love the “I say no to alcohol but it just doesn’t listen!!!” But your going to have me thinking all day today that it’s Friday!!! Shame on you!!!

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About Sanityfound

Often known as a tad crazy I come from Cape Town, South Africa. Started travelling abroad at 16, lived in a number of countries, have gone to over 250 concerts & festivals and… Honestly I never feel more alive than when I am on an adventure, experiencing a new country or trying some wacky food!

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