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Sanityfound

  • Home
  • About SF
  • Dictionary: SanityFound
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    • Eco Tourism
      • Wildlife Parks & Sanctuaries
    • America
      • Arizona
      • Florida
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  • Expat Files
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In Fun/Humour

Health Questions Answered

444 Views 8 Comments

Health Questions Answered Pin It

image*Received in an email and not written by me although it is the kind of thing IΒ  would write… someone beat me to it!

Q: I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that’s it…don’t waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that’s like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable slop.

Q: Is beer or wine bad for me?
A: Look, it goes to the earlier point about fruits and vegetables.As we all know, scientists divide everything in the world into three categories: animal, mineral, and vegetable. We all know that beer and wine are not animal, and they are not on the periodic table of elements, so that only leaves one thing, right? My advice: Have a burger and a beer and enjoy your liquid vegetables.

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body, and you have body fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can’t think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain…Good.

Q: If I stop smoking, will I live longer?
A: Nope. Smoking is a sign of individual statement and peace of mind. If you stop, you’ll probably stress yourself to death in record time.

Q: Aren’t fried foods bad for you?
A: You’re not listening. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they’re permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: What’s the secret to healthy eating?
A: Thicker gravy.

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? Cocoa beans … Another vegetable. It’s the best “feel-good” food around!

I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

Have a cookie… flour is a veggie!

Should you have landed here in search of real healthy things then you can head over to “Health” on Life, Laughter, Love and Light

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8 Comments

  1. vishesh
    •
    12 years ago

    πŸ˜€

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  2. Fitch
    •
    12 years ago

    Just wandered on over here from Vanessa’s blog. This is my first visit ( waving hello πŸ™‚ )

    This post really cracked me up! I can’t wait to share it with my family and friends!

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  3. SanityFound
    •
    12 years ago

    Vishes *grins*

    Fitch welcome glad you came to visit and enjoyed it at that! Have seen you around

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  4. Joy
    •
    12 years ago

    OMG, this is just great. I am just LMAO!!!

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  5. deepsm25
    •
    12 years ago

    LOL….remember reading this in my email long back…its a good read!!! πŸ™‚

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  6. SanityFound
    •
    12 years ago

    LMAO haha glads you enjoyed!

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  7. Amber
    •
    12 years ago

    lol better than a cookie… have a lemon bar.. or zuccini bread or carrot cake! Very Healthy! ROFL

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  8. SanityFound
    •
    12 years ago

    All vegetables at the end of the day yers? LMAO

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About Sanityfound

Often known as a tad crazy I come from Cape Town, South Africa. Started travelling abroad at 16, lived in a number of countries, have gone to over 250 concerts & festivals and… Honestly I never feel more alive than when I am on an adventure, experiencing a new country or trying some wacky food!

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