Last name: ________________
First name: (Check appropriate box)
(_) Billy-Bob
(_) Billy-Joe
(_) Billy-Ray
(_) Billy-Sue
(_) Billy-Mae
(_) Billy-Jack
What does everyone call you?
(_) Booger
(_) Bubba
(_) Junior
(_) Sissy
(_) Other___________________
Age: ____ (if unsure, guess) _____ Not sure
Shoe Size: ____ Left ____ Right
Occupation: (Check appropriate box)
(_) Farmer
(_) Mechanic
(_) Hair Dresser
(_) Unemployed
(_) Dirty Politician
(_) Preacher
(_) Strip Dancer
(_) Hooker
Spouse’s Name:_________________________
2nd Spouse’s Name:______________________
3rd Spouse’s Name:______________________
Lover’s Name:___________________________
Relationship with spouse: (Check appropriate box)
(_) Sister
(_) Brother
(_) Aunt
(_) Uncle
(_) Cousin
(_) Mother
(_) Father
(_) Son
(_) Daughter
(_) Pet
Number of children living in household: _____
Number of children living in shed: ______
Numbers that are yours: ______
Mother’s Name: _______________________
(If not sure, leave blank)
Father’s Name: _______________________
(If not sure, leave blank)
Education: 1 2 3 4
(Circle highest grade completed)
Total number of vehicles you own: ___
Number of vehicles that still crank: ___
Number of vehicles in front yard: ___
Number of vehicles in back yard: ___
Number of vehicles on cement blocks: ___
Do you have a gun rack?
If no, please explain:
Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to:
(_) The National Enquirer
(_) The Globe
(_) TV Guide
(_) Soap Opera Digest
(_) Rifle and Shotgun
Number of times you’ve seen a UFO:_____
Number of times in the last 5 years you’ve seen Elvis:_____
Number of times you’ve seen Elvis in a UFO:_____
How often do you bathe:
(_) Weekly
(_) Monthly
(_) Not Applicable
Colour of eyes:
Right_____ left_____
Colour of hair:
(_) Blond
(_) Black
(_) Red
(_) Brown
(_) White
(_) Clairol
Colour of teeth:
(_) Yellow
(_) Brownish-Yellow
(_) Brown
(_) Black
(_) N/A
Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer:
(_)Red-Man
How far is your home from a paved road?
(_) 1 mile
(_) 2 miles
(_) Just a whoop-and-a-holler!
(_) road?
SHOW ANNOUNCEMENT: Jedi Springer Now available on Earth channels!
deepsm25
•15 years ago
hahahaha…funnnnyyyyyy!!!! Just like you…!!!
glaize
•15 years ago
May the force give you wacky itches on your sides!
This is so funny!!!! I don’t even know what my shoe size is.
donstuff
•15 years ago
Funny. I grew up with a bunch of Bubbas. There should be a choice (under teeth) for mixed colors.
SanityFound
•15 years ago
Deeps… again it takes one to know one huns *winks*
Glaize rofl you are tff
Donstuff oooo Mixed colours for the toofs yers I forgot about those! We have that here as well those mostly the trend is no two front teeth… Apparently it is better, for what I don’t know.
Joy
•15 years ago
This is just great!! LMAO!!!
SanityFound
•15 years ago
*grins* do you think he’ll accept me on his show coz I am insane?
donstuff
•15 years ago
Insane? I thought you were Sanity Found. Now I’m confused.
SanityFound
•15 years ago
Shhhhhh don’t tell a soul!
Amber
•15 years ago
Don’t laugh… I filled in this application for my family to go on the show. Apparently we were turned down for being TOO Dysfunctional! Damn it. Also, none of us would get naked and do mud wrestling either… ewww…
SanityFound
•15 years ago
What do you mean… no naked and mud wrestling? I saw a photo of this very thing in the family photo album! Oh shit that was mine! Dang … ok listen it was NOT me, no, seriarsely now it wasn’t. I think I will have to speak to Jerry for you and get him to give you guys a special pass. Hmmm yes
When last did you shoot a pellet gun?
girlswithoutshoes
•15 years ago
This is hilarious! I was relieved that my family did not fit the criteria, however if Appliance in Yard was listed, we would have made it.