1. Don’t imagine you can change a man – unless he’s in nappies.
2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.
3. If they put a man on the moon – they should be able to put them all up there.
4. Never let your man’s mind wander – it’s too little to be out alone.
5. Go for the younger man. You might as well, they never mature anyway.
6. Men are all the same – they just have different faces, so that you can tell them apart.
8. Women don’t make fools of men – most of them are the do-it-yourself types.
9. Best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he is too old for it.
10. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
11. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.
12. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in Biblical times, men wouldn’t ask for directions.
13. If he asks what sort of books you’re interested in, tell him cheque books.
15. Sadly, all men are created equal.
Male Bashing 101
He said . . . I don’t now why you wear a bra; you’ve got nothing to put in it.
She said . . . You wear pants don’t you?
He said . . . Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said . . . That’s a good idea – you stand by the oven while I sit on the sofa and fart!
He said . . . What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said . . .Turn sideways and look in the mirror!
He said . . . Why don’t you tell me when you have an orgasm?
She said . . . I would but you’re never there.
What do men and sperm have in common?
They both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being.
What is the difference between men and government bonds?
The bonds mature.
What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
Man says to God: “God, why did you make woman so beautiful?”
God says: “So you would love her.”
“But God,” the man says, “why did you make her dumb?”
God says: “So she would love you.”
For all those men who say. “why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free”. Well women can say “it’s not worth buying the entire pig just to get a little sausage”