Photography is having no regrets

My obsession with photography started when I got my first camera back when I was 10.  It was film and in those days crazy expensive so I savored each shot I took and very fast became addicted to that unique click that only a film camera can give off.

Regardless of wether I was good or not, I realized that finally I had the power to make sure I recorded things, memories, people, places and moments that I never wanted to forget.

See, I lost my father when I was four and a half and as time went on the few memories I had faded.  As I grew up I would often find myself wanting to see photos of him in hopes that I would some how get to know the man he was through the captured memories of his life.  There weren’t many, probably around 15 in all, 4 of which were with me as a baby and toddler.

To this day my father is still an enigma to me but I swore when I got my first camera that my life would not be as his was.  People who remember me once I am gone will be able to look through my photos and know that I had lived, that I had experienced what life had to offer and know that, yes, I was a little crazy.

Hopefully in a good way! Now stop starting at my chubby cheeks.

Yes I have shots of me on the Ostrich, washing my very first motorbike and standing next to my first “personal” cake that took my mother hours to make. But I wanted more, my hunger for experiences never got quenched.

In this life I want to go to as many places as I can. I want to experience as many cultures the world has to offer me from remote jungles to wild cities. I want to do more crazy things like sky dive, hang glide again and again, climb more mountains and stand on the South Pole. Ok maybe bungee jump as well but that one I’ll have to be talked into…

Life is short, I get reminded of this on a daily basis, so I will do everything I can to enjoy each moment and record it all as I go.

I take thousands of photos on any given day but I live without the regret of not capturing the moment.

So far, as I head into a new decade of which the number will not be mentioned nor discussed, I’ve come to realize that although I have travelled near and far I don’t have too many photos of me in all the amazing places I’ve visited. Thousands of the places I’ve been yes, me in said places? Few and far between.

For example, I make photo books of all our “expeditions” and when we look through them my people exclaim but where are you!  It struck me that perhaps I am like my father, perhaps if I don’t climb out of my own skin and comfort zone my people may feel like I did looking through the measly photos of my father.

Me being in front of the camera, that is still something I am trying to work on, something that isn’t as easy as it seems.  Selfies and posing is something that is so against my character but I figure I could learn a thing or two from the teenagers of today and put myself out there.  It also helps that Snapchat has an anti-wrinkle filter thought not used on the below photos!.

During my trip to South Africa in June last year I started to try, it was an excruciating experience to say the least.

But with our latest trip to the Grand Canyon in December I made it my mission to be in front of the camera, to get some photos of myself actually there for a change.

If anything, not for my people, but perhaps for when I start to lose my mind and need to remember the amazing things I have done and accomplished. Yes, I will be the person sitting in a rocking chair exclaiming in an extremely loud indignant voice that no the person in the photo can’t be me because they’re way too close to the edge and I’m scared of heights.

I want to shock my older memory loss”ed” self with all the things I’ve faced, accomplished,  proven can be done, all the places I’ve seen and all the things I have experienced.

Photography is having no regrets.

Capture each moment and capture yourself in that moment when ever possible.

Live freely without the constraints of insecurity. Insecurity is what others have put on you, stop giving them the power.  Start living and capturing your memories, your moments in your history.

For one day you may not have your memory but you will have your photos.

Go out there and be wild.

And stop looking at my chubby baby cheeks!

4 thoughts on “Photography is having no regrets

  1. So sorry for your loss, Audrey, I imagine that must’ve been difficult for you to grapple with as a child. I love how it translates to your love for photography, though. I have a similar need to document my life, so I can totally relate. (I think the blog is an extension of that neurosis!)

    Beautiful post ❤️

    1. Thanks hun, honestly it was a long time ago and I’m a strong believer in taking anything good from the bad to make it better 🙂 I think many suffer from the same neurosis lol, you aren’t alone! Thanks for your beautiful comment, means a lot!

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