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Sanityfound

  • Home
  • About SF
  • Dictionary: SanityFound
  • Travel
    • Eco Tourism
      • Wildlife Parks & Sanctuaries
    • America
      • Arizona
      • Florida
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        • Santa Rosa
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      • England
  • Expat Files
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In Fun/Humour

F/H: How to be Politically Correct

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321395804_85d644db4e

BE POLITICALLY CORRECT WITH WOMEN

  • She is not a BLEACHED BLONDE – She is PEROXIDE DEPENDENT.
  • She is not a BAD COOK – She is MICROWAVE COMPATIBLE.
  • She does not wear TOO MUCH JEWELRY – She is METALLICALLY OVERBURDENED.
  • She is not CONCEITED – She is INTIMATELY AWARE OF HER BEST QUALITIES.
  • She does not want to be MARRIED – She wants to lock you in DOMESTIC INCARCERATION.
  • She does not GAIN WEIGHT – She is a METABOLIC UNDERACHIEVER.
  • She does not TEASE or FLIRT – She engages in ARTIFICIAL STIMULATION.
  • She is not DUMB – She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.
  • She is not TOO SKINNY – She is SKELETALLY PROMINENT.
  • She does not HAVE A MUSTACHE – She is IN TOUCH WITH HER MASCULINE SIDE
  • She does not HATE TELEVISED SPORTS – She is ATHLETICALLY IGNORANT.
  • She has not BEEN AROUND – She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.
  • She does not WEAR TOO MUCH PERFUME – She commits FRAGRANCE ABUSE.
  • She does not GO SHOPPING – She is MALL FLUENT.
  • She is not an AIR HEAD – She is REALITY IMPAIRED.
  • She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY – She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.
  • She does not get FAT or CHUBBY – She achieves MAXIMUM DENSITY.
  • She is not COLD or FRIGID – She is THERMALLY INACCESSIBLE.
  • She does not WEAR TOO MUCH MAKEUP – She has reached COSMETIC SATURATION.
  • She does not NAG YOU – She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.

BE POLITICALLY CORRECT WITH MEN

  • He does not have a FAT BEER GUT – He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.
  • He is not a CRAP DANCER – He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.
  • He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME – He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.
  • He does not SLEEP AROUND – He is HORIZONTALLY OVER-GENEROUS.
    He is not BALDING – He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.
  • He is not a CRADLE SNATCHER – He prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS.
  • He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK – He becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.
  • He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG – He is a SWINE EMPATHIZING BIGOT.
  • He is not afraid of COMMITMENT – He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED.
  • He does not STINK – He has HYGIENE AVERSION SYNDROME.
  • He is not a GROPING PERVERT – He suffers from COMPULSIVE HAND MOVEMENT DISORDER.
  • He is not OBSESSED WITH TELEVISED SPORTS – He has AN ATHLETIC TELEVISUAL ADDICTION.
  • He does not IGNORE YOU – He has ATTENTION SPAN DEFICIT DISORDER.
  • He is not a LAZY, MESSY SLOB – He LACKS HAND-VACUUM COORDINATION.
  • He does not tell ENDLESS, BORING, UNFUNNY JOKES – He is HUMORLY OVER-CONFIDENT.
  • He does not act like a TOTAL ASS – He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.

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5 Comments

  1. vishesh
    •
    13 years ago

    πŸ˜€

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  2. glaize
    •
    13 years ago

    Wow! I guess I’d need to get hold of the dictionary at some point of my life…then again, maybe I’ll just stick to the defaults πŸ˜€

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  3. Nikhil
    •
    13 years ago

    HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHA!!!!!!!!

    Been laughing my ass off for a while now! πŸ˜€
    Detour off the information superhighway!! Priceless!! πŸ˜€
    I’m gonna spread this post around! Absolutely hilarious!!

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  4. Joy
    •
    13 years ago

    These are wonderful!!!

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  5. SanityFound
    •
    13 years ago

    Vishesh *grins*

    Glaize defaults can be dangerarse careful!

    Nikhil LMAO oh dears

    Joy you will NEVER believe what we have for tomorrow…

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About Sanityfound

Often known as a tad crazy I come from Cape Town, South Africa. Started travelling abroad at 16, lived in a number of countries, have gone to over 250 concerts & festivals and… Honestly I never feel more alive than when I am on an adventure, experiencing a new country or trying some wacky food!

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