Do you remember as a kid looking out the window or into the sky in search of a rainbow? Don’t know about you but I absolutely loved rainbows and would get so excited when I spotted one. As the rains came down I’d often just sit by the window and look out, waiting, hoping, wishing for that break in the cloud, those few rays of sunshine to come through and give me a glimpse of another rainbow.
As a kid we would go out there searching for the rainbows on the cloudy, dull, gray days, we would search high and low. Now? Phah, forget about it, now we sit indoors going “I can’t believe this rain” or “This rain is just terrible I pray it ends soon” or “why does it ALWAYS rain???”. The lyrics of our life begin to resemble the Travis song “Why does it always rain on me”
“I’m seeing a tunnel at the end of all these lights
Sunny days
Where have you gone?
Why does it always rain on me?
Even when the sun is shining
I can’t avoid the lightning
I can’t stand myself
I’m being held up by invisible men
Still life on a shelf when
I got my mind on something else
Sunny days
Where have you gone?”
For the rest of the lyrics you can click here
Sometimes we get so caught up in life, in the complications and trials that we face, that we become blind to the little rainbows on the horizon, the pots of gold waiting for us to find. When this blindness sets in it is ever so subtle, at first it is the odd irk here and there, the odd irritation. Soon it reaches full swing and everything seems to be a “drain”, everything in life becomes a dark cloudy day.
Where did all the rainbows go?
Why did we let them get away?
Why do we not search for those rainbows within our lives anymore?
I remember when a rainbow got me through one of the darkest days of my life, a day following a night of terror. He was sleeping in and my mother said it was fine so I went outside and jumped over the fence, running over the field between my house and the church, I crouched under one of the playground barrels. As I crouched in its cover from the rain I shut my eyes tightly closed and I prayed to God
“God, father up in heaven and all around me please God, please make it stop, please make the pain go away, please make him stop hurting mommy and me, please God help me. Please God, I promise I will be good I promise”
I prayed so hard and I remember in the end asking him if he could be my Dad and protect me. My eyes started hurting from squeezing them so tightly shut that I had to open them slowly. As I started to focus again there in the sky was the most beautiful rainbow I have ever seen. Even now in my old age I am yet to see a rainbow as beautiful as that one. I knew then that God had heard me and that all I had to do was keep strong, that it would end. That terror chapter ended one month later, if it was God I do not know what I do know is that that rainbow got me through worse days and nights than the one I had experienced the night before my heart felt plea.
From that day onwards I searched for the rainbows both physically and spiritually. When things were rough I’d look at the little things and force myself to keep my eyes open, to look for the beauty that lies within the darkness.
My favourite thing to do while I am broken, on my knees crying kind of broken, is to make myself a fresh cup of coffee. I force myself up and make myself make it (sans spillage on my toes) then I sit with it between both of my hands and I smell. I literally inhale and focus on the rich aroma coming off the freshly brewed cup. That is my little rainbow right there that pulls me through. I can smell.
I go outside IN the rain and I hold both my hands out, palms up, tongue sticking out of my mouth, eyes closed, I feel the drops of water hit my face, hit my body. I feel.
Bad things have happened to me but there are so many rainbows within all those years that I could bore you to tears. Each time something bad happened I looked for a rainbow, I searched for the light within the dark and I always found it. Sometimes it was harder than others but search long enough and you are guaranteed to find it.
Recently my rainbows have been many. They have been the people that have come into my life, people who have never met me in person yet offer me true genuine friendship. They have been the posts that bloggers write, without knowing it the words touch my soul be it in the sense that it makes me think, feel or laugh, they are my rainbows. Even in the silly things lie my rainbows, standing in dog poop today made me laugh out loud as I realised that I said “oh shit” and quite literally it was one of those shitty moments, even the dog was horrified. Ok perhaps it is one of those you had to be there moments.
Whether we look for rainbows is up to us, whether we see them is our choice.
Rainbows in the sky or in our minds, they are there waiting for us to find them, just waiting in hope.
When last did you stop in wonder at a rainbow?
One of my favourite rainbow songs – I add it because I can’t shake it and want to pass on the pleasure…
Why are there so many songs about rainbows
and what’s on the other side?
Rainbows are visions, but only illusions,
and rainbows have nothing to hide.
So we’ve been told and some choose to believe it.
I know they’re wrong, wait and see.
Someday we’ll find it, the rainbow connection.
The lovers, the dreamers and me.
Who said that every wish would be heard
and answered when wished on the morning star?
Somebody thought of that and someone believed it.
Look what it’s done so far.
What’s so amazing that keeps us star gazing
and what do we think we might see?
Someday we’ll find it, the rainbow connection.
The lovers, the dreamers and me.
All of us under its spell. We know that it’s probably magic.
Have you been half asleep and have you heard voices?
I’ve heard them calling my name.
Is this the sweet sound that called the young sailors.
The voice might be one and the same.
I’ve heard it too many times to ignore it.
It’s something that I’m supposed to be.
Someday we’ll find it, the rainbow connection.
The lovers, the dreamers and me
Hayden Tompkins
•15 years ago
I can’t wait until the rainbow is really the fumes of your jet as you fly away from SA.
Great post.
SanityFound
•15 years ago
Awwws what a beautiful image! I honestly can’t wait for that moment… I dream of it everyday!
sandworm
•15 years ago
One thing I don’t see as much of here (CA) as I did in FL… I once saw 3 rainbows stacked from end to end in Orlando….
All the moisture is closer to the ground here…. I saw a couple when I went further inland though!
oracleofthepearl
•15 years ago
SF–again, you grip me with your thoughts, your imagery!
I love this piece, and relate very much to your Rainbow Moments. Literally and otherwise.
And any woman who can find a rainbow in a fresh cup of coffee, must be a friend of mine.
I want always “to look for the beauty that lies within the darkness.”
SanityFound
•15 years ago
Sandworm keep your eyes peeled surely more will be coming your way (CA) now that its becoming winter? Lets hope lol
Oracle, each day that passes it seems we share more similarities, perhaps it is our pasts or perhaps it is our future? Glad you enjoyed this one!
gypsy-heart
•15 years ago
This was a most beautiful post my dear. We have much in common…even some childhood things.
Your rainbows come from within,and you are a strong woman…even as a child you knew where to go for needed strength.
Good energies to you and peace of heart.
Joy
•15 years ago
This is one of your best ever. I can’t wait for the day you get out of there too. Will said Hayden.
vishesh
•15 years ago
i still keep seeing the sky everyday 😛 loved the song…even though we know it is an illusion we live the moment…for the illusion is to over come by understanding and love… 🙂
deepsm25
•15 years ago
Pay close attention to that rain bow, there are steps on it which you need to take and walk out of that place….and who knows, you may be landing here straight in India 🙂
vanessaleighsblog
•15 years ago
Beautiful words my dear…..I am so grateful for your rainbows, earlier and life, and now. For, we never grow too old for rainbows, just too cynical….. MWAH!
SanityFound
•15 years ago
Gypsy-heart thank you for your kind words filled with heart and good energy, means a lot.
Joy thanks you, glad you enjoyed this one lol yip I have say I feel the same way, exactly the same!
Vishesh I couldn’t have said it better, wow, thanks you!
Deeps yip you never know hmm I follow those steps blindly most of the time just following my gut and my nose hmm
Vanessa lol you said it perfectly my mission is to never get cynical! Thanks huns!
deepsm25
•15 years ago
I havent seen one in a long time….as it hasnt been raining here the way is should have …Sigh! I need a rainbow in my life as well. 🙂
SanityFound
•15 years ago
I will twinkle, hang one *goes and gets rainbow suit* there its one… what you think?
deepsm25
•15 years ago
you are looking like a clown if you are wearing that suit. 😛
SanityFound
•15 years ago
no no you got it all wrongs… its you that is wearing the suit my dear…. you still sleepin or what huh huh punk?