Do you remember as a kid looking out the window or into the sky in search of a rainbow? Don’t know about you but I absolutely loved rainbows and would get so excited when I spotted one.  As the rains came down I’d often just sit by the window and look out, waiting, hoping, wishing for that break in the cloud, those few rays of sunshine to come through and give me a glimpse of another rainbow.

As a kid we would go out there searching for the rainbows on the cloudy, dull, gray days, we would search high and low. Now? Phah, forget about it, now we sit indoors going “I can’t believe this rain” or “This rain is just terrible I pray it ends soon” or “why does it ALWAYS rain???”.  The lyrics of our life begin to resemble the Travis song “Why does it always rain on me”

“I’m seeing a tunnel at the end of all these lights
Sunny days
Where have you gone?
Why does it always rain on me?
Even when the sun is shining
I can’t avoid the lightning
I can’t stand myself
I’m being held up by invisible men
Still life on a shelf when
I got my mind on something else
Sunny days
Where have you gone?”

For the rest of the lyrics you can click here

Sometimes we get so caught up in life, in the complications and trials that we face, that we become blind to the little rainbows on the horizon, the pots of gold waiting for us to find.  When this blindness sets in it is ever so subtle, at first it is the odd irk here and there, the odd irritation.  Soon it reaches full swing and everything seems to be a “drain”, everything in life becomes a dark cloudy day.

Where did all the rainbows go?

Why did we let them get away?

Why do we not search for those rainbows within our lives anymore?

I remember when a rainbow got me through one of the darkest days of my life, a day following a night of terror.  He was sleeping in and my mother said it was fine so I went outside and jumped over the fence, running over the field between my house and the church, I crouched under one of the playground barrels.  As I crouched in its cover from the rain I shut my eyes tightly closed and I prayed to God

“God, father up in heaven and all around me please God, please make it stop, please make the pain go away, please make him stop hurting mommy and me, please God help me.  Please God, I promise I will be good I promise”

I prayed so hard and I remember in the end asking him if he could be my Dad and protect me.  My eyes started hurting from squeezing them so tightly shut that I had to open them slowly.  As I started to focus again there in the sky was the most beautiful rainbow I have ever seen.  Even now in my old age I am yet to see a rainbow as beautiful as that one.  I knew then that God had heard me and that all I had to do was keep strong, that it would end.  That terror chapter ended one month later, if it was God I do not know what I do know is that that rainbow got me through worse days and nights than the one I had experienced the night before my heart felt plea.

From that day onwards I searched for the rainbows both physically and spiritually.  When things were rough I’d look at the little things and force myself to keep my eyes open, to look for the beauty that lies within the darkness.

My favourite thing to do while I am broken, on my knees crying kind of broken, is to make myself a fresh cup of coffee.  I force myself up and make myself make it (sans spillage on my toes) then I sit with it between both of my hands and I smell.  I literally inhale and focus on the rich aroma coming off the freshly brewed cup.  That is my little rainbow right there that pulls me through.  I can smell.

I go outside IN the rain and I hold both my hands out, palms up, tongue sticking out of my mouth, eyes closed, I feel the drops of water hit my face, hit my body.  I feel.

Bad things have happened to me but there are so many rainbows within all those years that I could bore you to tears.  Each time something bad happened I looked for a rainbow, I searched for the light within the dark and I always found it.  Sometimes it was harder than others but search long enough and you are guaranteed to find it.

Recently my rainbows have been many.  They have been the people that have come into my life, people who have never met me in person yet offer me true genuine friendship.  They have been the posts that bloggers write, without knowing it the words touch my soul be it in the sense that it makes me think, feel or laugh, they are my rainbows.  Even in the silly things lie my rainbows, standing in dog poop today made me laugh out loud as I realised that I said “oh shit” and quite literally it was one of those shitty moments, even the dog was horrified.  Ok perhaps it is one of those you had to be there moments.

Whether we look for rainbows is up to us, whether we see them is our choice.

Rainbows in the sky or in our minds, they are there waiting for us to find them, just waiting in hope.

When  last did you stop in wonder at a rainbow?

One of my favourite rainbow songs – I add it because I can’t shake it and want to pass on the pleasure…

Why are there so many songs about rainbows
and what’s on the other side?
Rainbows are visions, but only illusions,
and rainbows have nothing to hide.
So we’ve been told and some choose to believe it.
I know they’re wrong, wait and see.
Someday we’ll find it, the rainbow connection.
The lovers, the dreamers and me.
Who said that every wish would be heard
and answered when wished on the morning star?
Somebody thought of that and someone believed it.
Look what it’s done so far.
What’s so amazing that keeps us star gazing
and what do we think we might see?
Someday we’ll find it, the rainbow connection.
The lovers, the dreamers and me.
All of us under its spell. We know that it’s probably magic.
Have you been half asleep and have you heard voices?
I’ve heard them calling my name.
Is this the sweet sound that called the young sailors.
The voice might be one and the same.
I’ve heard it too many times to ignore it.
It’s something that I’m supposed to be.
Someday we’ll find it, the rainbow connection.
The lovers, the dreamers and me