Over the last couple of months I have shared essential details for every tourist wanting to visit South Africa.

First there was the African Questioned which included details about our postal system, the animals we have as pets and long distance travel options. Then of course there was the photo post of local sights (Why South African’s are Special) to make the tourist feel more at home when they arrive in the country. Followed by the local lingo and customs in the post entitled Proudly South African. Ending off with the most recent addition to the series, Tourism Q&A, in which all the normal questions we receive on our Tourism website are answered.

Today we are going to cover Public Transport and the many different forms available, what is lekker (nice), shweet (beautiful), safer, cheaper, larny (smart as) and fast-like-cheetah! (very fast, pronounced very fast as well).

2-Legs

Here in Africa it is found that 2-legs transport is still the cheapest form of getting around. Many have been known to walk from Cape Town to Johannesburg. This trip however will take you approximately 2 weeks depending on the fitness of 2-legs.

Admittedly not many do long distances using the 2-legs system due to the extended time frame needed to get from point A to point B or Z. The benefits however are numerous, not only do you save money but you also get to see some of the countries hidden beauties, walk amongst wild animals and play real life snakes and ladders.

Open-air Taxi

Should you prefer not to use 2-legs then there are numerous open air taxi’s available. Please note that there is a limit of 21 passengers max.

One of the greatest benefits of using open-air taxi’s is the fact that, should you catch one just after washing your hair, there will be no need to spend hours blow drying it. Hop on one of these taxi’s and wham bam thank you mam your hair is styled pronto supo!

Tourist warning: Please remember to wear a raincoat during thunderstorms while travelling by open-air taxi’s. Thank you.

No-air or Bullet Taxi

These larney mini-vans are well known for their speed and creating routes out of nothing. They can weave in between traffic, both on coming and passing, with ease and agility much like cooked spaghetti. A Bullet Taxi can hold up to 24 passengers including goats.

Please note that, should you find a larny taxi available, take it! These generally have air conditioners and aerosols, fully equipped with Ministry of Sound whoooofer systems and TV Screens. If you are really lucky you may catch one with a built in barsteward or two serving their best (very rare).

Travel Warning: Should you wish to travel via this method please remember to take along your nose plugs as you might find a goats posterior close to your head.

Fast-like-cheeeeeetah!

This surprisingly is not very popular amongst the locals due to the speed in which you travel. One reason for this is the fact that being strapped onto a cheetah’s behind can be both bumpy due to it’s immense speed and lack of shock absorbers. Secondly the cheetah has a slight tendency to be boney and does not sport a comfortable couchass.

For the above mentioned reasons travel by Ostrich has become increasingly popular. This large bird has seating for two, luxurious seat covers and comes with the added bonus of under-feather heating.

Tourist Warning: Although travelling by Ostrich is luxurious and comfortable please note, however, that by using this form of transport you might lose all shiny objects that you carry on your person. They will be removed by pecking order for it is what the Ostriches do. The Ostrich code: Shiny and sparkly = yum YUM squaaawk

New Initiative by SA Tourism Board

Due to much confusion experienced by tourists visiting South Africa, the Department of Tourism has put together a few short movie clips to explain the countries customs, best methods of transport and the dangers.

Tourist Warning: It is highly recommended that before landing in South Africa you study all educational videos listed and take note of the customs. Not doing so will bring the locals out in force leaving you with not a moments peace. We will be releasing a safety checklist and quick escape plan from a local’s home shortly.

Romance in South Africa
For the romantic traveller, please watch the below clip for information on the do’s and don’ts of courting someone within South Africa’s borders. Please note that doing it any other way will bring stares and gasps.

Tourist Warning: It is now illegal for anyone under the age of 16 to hold hands or kiss, for more information please read here.

Day-2-Day living and Recommended SFC Transport (Safest, Fastest, Cheapest)

We have put together a short movie clip showing the day to day normality found in any South African home. Please take note of the way most South Africans prepare their food, the appliances they use as well as obvious problems if you are tall in stature.

Recommended SFC Transport is viewable from 1:28 onwards. This form of transport is very popular with the locals due to its speed, the rising costs of fuel/gas and intense congestion problems found on South African Freeways.

Tourist warning: Please note that it is recommended that you practice this in your home land before trying it out in South Africa. The locals will use you for target practice.

Kind Regards

SA Department of Traffic & Tourism