Fun: Male & Female differences extended

Note:  Maybe you’ve read these before, I know I never tire of them – tff for sure. – Sorry have been quiet have been prepping for my US Embassy interview tomorrow so wish me lucks! Mwah _________ SWISS ARMY KNIFE — male, because even though it appears useful for a wide variety of work, it spends most of its time just opening bottles. KIDNEYS — … Continue reading Fun: Male & Female differences extended

Fun: Finding Jesus

A Sunday school teacher is concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus, so he asks his class, “Where is Jesus today?” Steven raises his hand and says, “He’s in Heaven.” Mary answers, “He’s in my heart.” Little Johnny waves his hand furiously and blurts out, “He’s in our bathroom!” The surprised teacher asks Little Johnny how he knows this. “Well,” Little … Continue reading Fun: Finding Jesus

Why (Some) Americans Should Never Be Allowed To Travel

Disclaimer: I have many many many American friends who I think are extremely intelligent, wonderful and just plain awesome but as the stats go in a large country you’re going to get a few more lifts that don’t reach the top floor… Don’t take offense. I love you all! Seriously! The following are actual stories provided by U.S. travel agents: I had someone ask for … Continue reading Why (Some) Americans Should Never Be Allowed To Travel

Hilarious Demetri Martin Quotes

“I wonder what the most intelligent thing ever said was that started with the  word ‘dude.’ ‘Dude, these are isotopes.’ ‘Dude, we removed your kidney. You’re gonna be fine.’ ‘Dude, I am so stoked to win this Nobel Prize. I just wanna thank Kevin, and Turtle, and all my homies.’” “I think that when you get dressed in the morning, sometimes you’re really making a … Continue reading Hilarious Demetri Martin Quotes

F/H: Some Comedians Jokes

These are actual jokes told by comedians. I DID NOT MAKE THEM UP! They were from a joke book. Enjoy!

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1. Somebody just gave me a shower radio. Thanks a lot. Do you really want music in the shower? I guess there’s no better place to dance than a slick surface next to a glass door. – Jerry Seinfeld (on music)

2. Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. -Red Buttons (on spanking)

3. I never met anyone who thought southern is the world’s most intelligent-sounding accent. None of us would want to hear our brain surgeon say, “Aright…what we gon’ do is saw the top of yer head off, root around in ‘er with a stick, and see if we cain’t find that dadburned clot.” You say, “No thanks, I’ll just die, okay?” – Jeff Foxworthy (on Accents)

4. I got into a car wreck when I was twenty-two. Hit a damn lake. I thought the road was slick. State trooper sloshing up to my car asks me, “Have you been drinking?” How many sober people do you know who slam into lakes? “No, I ran out of gas. I could have made it across with a full tank.” – Kenny Rogerson (on Accidents)

5. I became a mom six months ago. I adopted a highway. I’m trying to teach it to pick up after itself. – Nancy Jo Perdue (on Adoption)

Continue reading “F/H: Some Comedians Jokes”

World Tour Announced!

Well it is a start in any case.  We are busy setting up a World Tour for Amber to visit all her newly adopted brothers, sisters and friends (including my farting dog).  There is no set Itinerary as yet so keep your eyeballs peeled for further announcements! … hah! You thought we were kidding (so did Amber, don’t worry)           If you’re not listed … Continue reading World Tour Announced!