Look, yes I know those tickets are real cheap when browsing google flights, but let me just stop you right there. South Africa, aka Mandela land, aka Suid Afrika or Saffa land, which ever way you want to call it, is a third world country. Third you say? Yes we aren’t in the top three if that’s what you’re thinking, rather we are third world … Continue reading So you want to visit Cape Town, South Africa, heh?
Some of these are just hilarious but would you do any of these?
- Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
- Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.
- Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: “Shut up, all of you just shut UP!”
- Whistle the first seven notes of “It’s a Small World” incessantly.
- Sell Girl Scout cookies.
- On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
- Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: “Got enough air in there?”
- Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
- Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
- When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
- Lean over to another passenger and whisper: “Noogie patrol coming!”
- Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
- One word: Flatulence!
- On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go “plink” at the bottom.
- Do Tai Chi exercises. Continue reading “F/H: Fun things to do in elevators”
When I was first challenged by Singleforareason with her Let Us Begin: The Paper Bag I found myself sitting and pondering upon this PB. I saw PB though, you’ll never believe it, but I did. Last night I sat outside amongst the stars just me, the wimpass-fart-bag and my weightless telescope, as I looked through the view finder there PB was flying in all … Continue reading Evolution and the Paper Bag (PB)
A list of actual announcements that London Tube train drivers have made to their passengers… 1) “Ladies and Gentlemen, I do apologize for the delay to your service. I know you’re all dying to get home, unless, of course, you happen to be married to my ex-wife, in which case you’ll want to cross over to the Westbound and go in the opposite direction.” 2) … Continue reading Heard on the London Underground