What is self doubt and where does it come from? Have you noticed just how many people doubt their abilities or their talents? How often I have heard someone say to me that their art or something they have done is pathetic I could probably count on all yours, mines and the worlds toes. How many of us feel like failures when no one else sees it like that?
If we look at things we tell our children or other people it is no wonder that so many of us suffer from serious bouts of self doubt. Growing up I was often told on a daily basis how I’d failed, what I had not done right or how pathetic I was, it became a routine and slowly I started believing that indeed I was useless, I had no back up statements saying that I wasn’t. As I have said before I don’t like adults much, sometimes they don’t think further than their own noses at what they are doing or saying to impressionable kids who look to them for guidance or to other adults.
How often do we tell people their faults, what’s wrong with them, how often do we make snide comments to people about their looks or go as far as to tell them that they are fat and yet we never seem to show them the right way or encourage them. So often in this world that we live in people are negative towards others, be it adults to children or adult to adult. Gone are the days, if they ever were, when we encouraged others, when we guided them towards the right direction, in my experience people generally are down right negative and derogatory especially when there is no reason for it. We go around castigating people, breaking them down and for what?
Yes I believe that if something is really wrong we should guide someone towards the right but there are ways and means to doing it.
During my lifetime, growing up in those all important years I learned to doubt myself beyond belief. My belief system was so screwed up that even the therapist said “Oh God” (she was an interesting one). It had gotten to the point that my vision of myself was so warped by negatives on who I was and what I was all the while being positive on everyone else. I could not, point blank, understand it when someone praised me for a job well done or when someone liked a painting that I had painted, I really couldn’t understand what they saw in me or how well I had actually done.
When I sold my first oil painting I actually turned round to the person and said “What on earth do you want with that piece of junk for???” they turned round and said they really liked it and my response was “Are you really sure because you don’t have to be nice” … Kind of scary where self doubt and a negative self belief system can take you don’t you think…
The truth in this matter is this, some humans by nature break others down it doesn’t mean that they are right or that they are being honest. Some humans encourage you and guide you when you are wrong, they are positive even in the negatives and they build up your self esteem. Over the last couple of years I have met many encourager’s along the road of awakening and I could only start to take them for what they were when I started addressing my negative belief system.
My previous post is about my accomplishment (as I see it) of what I have overcome, I am sure I will have more moments when self doubt creeps in, perhaps that is just human nature built in by the culture we live in, perhaps it is something that can be fully overcome with time.
Self doubt is a pointless enemy, it is the worst friend a person can have, it can take you so low where the self mental beatings would kill another, what is the point of not believing in yourself? If people are negative and bring you down move on to greener pastures where positive influences live…
Believe in who you are, believe in what you can do and what you are capable of. Don’t let other’s tell you what you can and can’t do, what you are capable of or not, trust yourself and trust your skills, trust who you are and run with it.
What’s the point of not believing in yourself?
I love this song, I always dance around with my eyes closed to it, feeling its words and rhythm touch my soul, perhaps it does the same for you… It’s words will always ring true…
Listen as your day unfolds,
challenge what the future holds
Try to keep your head up to the sky
Lovers they may cause you tears
Go ahead release your fears
Stand up and be counted,
don’t be shamed to cry
You gotta be..
You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold,
you gotta be wiser
You gotta be hard, you gotta be tough,
you gotta be stronger
You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm,
you gotta stay together.
All I know, all I know
Love will save the day
Herald what your mother said
Read the books your father read
Try to solve the puzzleS
in your own sweet time
Some may have more cash than you
Others take a different view
My oh my,hey hey hey
Time asks no questions, it goes on without you
Leaving you behind if you can’t stand the pace
The world keeps on spinning, can’t stop it if you tried to
The best part is danger staring you in the face
Remember Listen as your day unfolds,
challenge what the future holds
Try to keep your head up to the sky
Lovers they may cause you tears
Go ahead release your fears
my oh my,hey hey hey….
Got to be bold. Got to be bad
Got to be wise. Not ever sad
Got to be hard. Not too, too hard
All I know is, love will save the day
Vineet
•15 years ago
You have touched upon an epidemic in our current lives – which everybody feels concerned about but are reluctant to talk. We are raised to think about ourselves (going much beyond -“Man is a selfish social animal”).
Basically, this reflects a lack of self belief & a sense of happiness within oneself. The result is negative happiness – by way of discouragement, rebuke, cynicism,focus on problems rather than solutions.
Mother Teresa once said – “I am willing to go to a Pro-Peace Rally BUT NOT TO an Anti-war rally”. Just a way of looking at things.
amberfireinus
•15 years ago
I am smiling as I read this post. So right on target. You are getting it. Man I see so much growth in your soul recently. Its like the most beautiful flower that has begun to bloom.
Believe in yourself… others out there do. More importantly, God always does. Putting yourself down is slapping God in the face. Because he made you perfect, just the way you are.
SanityFound
•15 years ago
Vineet – Thanks for your comment, like the Mother Theresa quote, I will remember that one for sure!
SanityFound
•15 years ago
Amber thank you for both your encouragement and what you say, your words, they touch my soul.
God makes us perfect but humans refuse to accept it, sad… As you once said there is perfection in imperfection. I see that now more fully than I ever thought possible, am getting ready for the next rung on the ladder, one step at a time, I feel it close.
Thanks again for everything you say, all the encouragement, it means a lot.
cordieb
•15 years ago
I LOVE that song! Sound as though you are gaining your confidence every day my child. You have to realize that fear is the root of all your insecurities. You need to become fearless! Nothing can really hurt you, unless you believe it to be. A history of oppression, denial, injustice and abuse has been the greatest detriment to women. We have listened so long to what we can not do that we have very little confidence in what we can do. It is the lack of confidence, not hatred, lack of education or social injustice that creates our greatestdeterrent to our progress. One of the best kep secrets in life is when children of God make up their minds, when they bring their minds into harmony with the desire in their hearts, when they pray for and follow intuitive guidance; then no one and nothing can stop them! No matter who they are. Confidence and a made up mind are the stuff kings and queens are made of. So my princess, your crown awaits you – it’s yours to achieve!
Peace, Light and Love
Cordieb
cordieb
•15 years ago
I LOVE that song! Sound as though you are gaining your confidence every day my child. You have to realize that fear is the root of all your insecurities. You need to become fearless! Nothing can really hurt you, unless you believe it to be. A history of oppression, denial, injustice and abuse has been the greatest detriment to women. We have listened so long to what we can not do that we have very little confidence in what we can do. It is the lack of confidence, not hatred, lack of education or social injustice that creates our greatestdeterrent to our progress. One of the best kep secrets in life is when children of God make up their minds, when they bring their minds into harmony with the desire in their hearts, when they pray for and follow intuitive guidance; then no one and nothing can stop them! No matter who they are. Confidence and a made up mind are the stuff kings and queens are made of. So my princess, your crown awaits you – it’s yours to achieve!
Peace, Light and Love
Cordieb
ilegirl
•15 years ago
Wonderful post!
One of the very interesting things that I have found as my confidence grows is that I am not so stuck in my own head all the time. I can really hear other people, interact with them at a deeper level. It’s ironic that this positive interaction is self-perpetuating, the mirror image of the downward spiral into bleak isolation.
Congrats on accepting the praise, and recognizing the worth of your talent, skill and hard work!
SanityFound
•15 years ago
Cordie – Thanks for your kind words, at the end of the day we get a choice, to be a victim or not, I have never been a victim and never will be… after that anything is possible, I have been determined to get back to myself, true self this is one of those shackles of survival instinct I hope to leave behind permanently. Thanks again for your kind words my friend, they mean a lot. A
SanityFound
•15 years ago
Ilegirl you are one wise woman, your words are so true, positivity does attract other positivity which gets you through the negativity when it rears it’s ugly head. Thanks for your kind words, they mean a lot 🙂
vishesh
•15 years ago
it happened to me also…but then thankfully i had a few people like my parents and grand parents who kept encouraging me…and then i learnt to give back the unnecessary stuff which receive…
SanityFound
•15 years ago
You are very lucky to have people that encourage and support you, people whom you have looked up to growing up, it is one of the greatest blessings…
Vanessa
•15 years ago
I agree with all that has been said here, especially ilegirl’s observation that once we get out of our own self-defeating heads, we can hear others, and then speak it back to them, and then the light goes on and on and on without end…….
I feel sadness for you in what you had before you early in your life; and then yet, I feel so excited for you that now, you emerge from the darkness, step into the light, and bathe yourself in it. You deserve all of that light and warmth, and every minute that you deny it to yourself, that any of us deny it to ourselves, is nothing less than a tragedy. Hugs, V.
SanityFound
•15 years ago
V thanks for your kind words and hugs as always 🙂 My past is a blessing, it taught me valuable lessons, I’m not damaged goods nor am I a victim, I am actually glad that it happened – strange thing is if I were to see any of the people again I would like to thank them from the bottom of my heart…
It is true what you say, the mere fact that we deny it to ourselves, deny others it is sad sad sad but it is not the end for we are all evolving, forever changing.
Thanks again for your kind words *hugs* A
Martha
•15 years ago
Just wanted to connect and thank you. The song is wonderful, and so are the thoughts and comments. I am struggling with that self-doubt, too, and it’s murky, dark and suffocating, so that I didn’t even realize what was happening. But you put your finger on it! Thank you – for sharing your insights, for being you, and for giving others (me) such badly needed encouragement and inspiration.
SanityFound
•15 years ago
Martha that is what friends are for, thank you for what you say it means a lot, glad that you liked this one. Self doubt can be a vicious circle, a dark and dangerous one, never forget who you really are or how much you are loved, how much talent you have nor how far you have come my friend… it will get you through the dark days promise Mwa & hugs Auds