All of us go through rough times but we never stop and take account of just what it took to get through the difficult times in our lives, we do not realise the strength needed to deal with the times that rode us so hard it almost broke us. I know this may sound strange and maybe a tad odd but if you sit and think about it just for a moment you may realise just how much strength you really have inside you.

So often we complain about the things that happen to us that we forget the beauty that is around us, surrounds us in its entirety… I know that I am bringing it up quite often these days but this subject really is close to my heart and has inspired me to open my heart up to life more than ever before.

I spoke to my friends mother this evening, he is back in hospital having painkillers pumping into his system… he was unable to fly back just yet. They are now trying the morphine patches to see if that will work and to relieve him of the boundaries inflicted by the needles stuck in his arms. He is only 30, he lies in hospital with painkillers pumping into his blood stream but he still lies there with a smile on his face. He is chirpy and keeps telling people that he will be back, that he is not going home forever, that he is not going to let this cancer get him down. Yes he is in denial, yes he is not facing the fact that he only has a couple of weeks to live, but is he really in denial or is has he accepted fate and not willing to let it get him down?

After speaking to him I know it is the latter, he has accepted the fact that he has cancer throughout his body, when we spoke he told me that it will not be the end of him, he was not going to change who he was just because he is not going to live.

I find myself getting frustrated now with healthy people that say that there is no point in living, when they say that they would rather die than continue… there is my friend, someone who wants to live but can’t and there they are complaining about life… I am not insulting those who feel that there is no life left to live, I am not judging them or castigating them either for I have been in their shoes. I have come close to finishing it all on numerous occasions, something always stopped me and now I am more glad than I could ever explain.

There is life, the life that we are given, we don’t have much choice with what we get given it is rather up to us how we deal with it, how we handle it and how we choose to grow from it. No matter how bad our lives seem there is always someone just around the corner that has it worse than us, that may need our experience, the experience and lessons we learnt during similar times, to help them pull through. It is so easy for us to close off from the rest of the world, to forget that we are not alone in our suffering, that we are not the only ones that have gone through bad things… By sharing our pain it is halved, by helping others with similar pain it is shared even more, by helping those who are going through what we have gone through… that is just therapeutic…

Another rambling by a wondering soul with a heavy heart and hope in her soul… one day I will be brave enough to share with you what I have experienced, at present it is only those that I know like blood and those that I have helped in the past that know and then each only a little piece of the puzzle…

The morale of this story is yet again, look unto the light, the sunshine is there even on cloudy days when there seems to be no hope left, look and you will see it within yourself… and what ever you do never forget the strength within you!