A dog’s diary
7 am – Oh boy! A walk! My favourite!
10 am – Oh boy! Dog food! My favourite!
2 pm – Oh boy! A car ride! My favourite!
3 pm – Oh boy! The kids! My favourite!
4 pm – Oh boy! Playing ball! My favourite!
6 pm – Oh boy! Welcome home Mom! My favourite!
7 pm – Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favourite!
8 pm – Oh boy! Dog food! My favourite!
9 pm – Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favourite!
11 pm – Oh boy! Sleeping in my people’s bed! My favourite!
A cat’s diary
Day 183 of my captivity. My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape,and the mild satisfaction I get from clawing the furniture.
Today my attempt to kill my Captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded -must try this at the top of the stairs.
In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favourite chair – must try this on their bed.
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.
I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait; it is only a matter of time.